tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6821097892188842742024-03-14T08:32:29.558-07:00Po' buckraan unsettling look at nowsville...sorta.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.comBlogger150125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-1583216964762694942014-03-01T22:58:00.000-08:002014-03-01T22:58:50.112-08:00See You Later, Charlotte..Hello SF Bay Area!<i>Years ago, I started a My Life In Music blog. If you wish to catch up, click on My Life In Music at the end of this post. Then go backwards. Most of them are there. A few early one's are still on my PC hard drive that I have not gotten around to converting to Apple….Someday..</i><br />
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I don't really remember the demise of The Happy Eggs. We put out a great EP and generally played to packed clubs, but Jamie was putting more time into the extremely popular Spongetones, and my wife and I were tiring of Charlotte's lack of alternative cultural outlets. The New Wave/Punk scene was floundering, the Bible Belt was roaring, and we thought it would be a great time to explore the possibilities of the San Francisco scene.<br />
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We had visited the area many times, and my wife had family living there. I had mixed feelings, of course. My roots were deep. But my immediate family had all left Charlotte, so I agreed. It was very hard saying goodbye to all of my friends. I still miss them to this day, but we were out of there. I think it was in 1982.<br />
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Once we landed in the Bay Area, we started out in Marin County, in San Rafael. My wife thought it would be a good, more comfortable place for me to adjust. More suburban than city life. It was centrally located to San Francisco and the East Bay. Good call. <br />
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We went wild the fist year seeing so many cool bands at long gone clubs: The IBeam, Berkeley Square, On Broadway, The Fab Mab etc…what an experience! So many cool clubs and bands and we absorbed them all with relish. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpd5xBdsfSVCQiBlcPe35uYjYwEC_0e8H_pe7xR5_yQr4H8pnUGjhcctyUD2ThZ0yb3UuvOLK_TkcLAwn2NQXYSegAmTQwSiNKB6MYgiuSApzi4BTN-cye2iFpeQVMcaJJ0fXvxfNP7R2/s1600/DSCF1304.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpd5xBdsfSVCQiBlcPe35uYjYwEC_0e8H_pe7xR5_yQr4H8pnUGjhcctyUD2ThZ0yb3UuvOLK_TkcLAwn2NQXYSegAmTQwSiNKB6MYgiuSApzi4BTN-cye2iFpeQVMcaJJ0fXvxfNP7R2/s200/DSCF1304.JPG" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnpR0GXLVXBzXVk_Ju0yHj38SSp_Aaop32-29oEY8gKghL74rP09TS2sjxRUdpgPiPsV-EroyAhga4DY3N_zBb2PKzzV57dnwLFFcQq9a-wcN3cN_dhmxcw0ZtrM4dmz76x2n33PxEUHGZ/s1600/DSCF1307.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnpR0GXLVXBzXVk_Ju0yHj38SSp_Aaop32-29oEY8gKghL74rP09TS2sjxRUdpgPiPsV-EroyAhga4DY3N_zBb2PKzzV57dnwLFFcQq9a-wcN3cN_dhmxcw0ZtrM4dmz76x2n33PxEUHGZ/s200/DSCF1307.JPG" /></a> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnlHDpXAsym6W_GV-m6Wty8KtMSnYPFOSKBX1oG_q_3zRMDAenu9nIVtfKRQDvf6fOIikiI22yQgLz-e7pVwcxjTj-h2qAXa3fhdpHF9OdWLNe0EJcf4fuDwTHB7V0s2NNshRkZ7K4NmIt/s1600/DSCF1309.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnlHDpXAsym6W_GV-m6Wty8KtMSnYPFOSKBX1oG_q_3zRMDAenu9nIVtfKRQDvf6fOIikiI22yQgLz-e7pVwcxjTj-h2qAXa3fhdpHF9OdWLNe0EJcf4fuDwTHB7V0s2NNshRkZ7K4NmIt/s200/DSCF1309.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9g7dpieiOWF-fnUjWTLftXnw3B_v79opvPdg05WGoIhcESXYf4vkjRDz1bncJyQY4EDHbjWU-PxgbHbCyRuDmz0G4vYIjynRCPEefN7eoPsb5y5BYnpr5MknvYCDwbdpI7VLFMJVGFbJA/s1600/DSCF1311.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9g7dpieiOWF-fnUjWTLftXnw3B_v79opvPdg05WGoIhcESXYf4vkjRDz1bncJyQY4EDHbjWU-PxgbHbCyRuDmz0G4vYIjynRCPEefN7eoPsb5y5BYnpr5MknvYCDwbdpI7VLFMJVGFbJA/s200/DSCF1311.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVi0h8xXut1lZz1v-q4nxLsUXkpu0wWBEQCfAOGIXBjZp9vxEV1F-pExfp8MbwCLGnnNoALLoQRFTv59z8dOjRTyt1bAlfXQOdr3qn9Gs5Hfatn59NffSzqeKj0q5rcZY7ypoY3gqtavZw/s1600/DSCF1314.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVi0h8xXut1lZz1v-q4nxLsUXkpu0wWBEQCfAOGIXBjZp9vxEV1F-pExfp8MbwCLGnnNoALLoQRFTv59z8dOjRTyt1bAlfXQOdr3qn9Gs5Hfatn59NffSzqeKj0q5rcZY7ypoY3gqtavZw/s200/DSCF1314.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ClqoZKa2b2LQOWOAcfA7RaClnMmpWNxq6jZjxfl4UKwUk_YBdOx4BDV6dvfrFXLJS_YRuCQtbnFwF7RlaqtITAEoM_z1JmNBk7vKiaGpCRrga0HFpuUE6GdwzsgELOuW1RaPO8t_-bNm/s1600/DSCF1305.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ClqoZKa2b2LQOWOAcfA7RaClnMmpWNxq6jZjxfl4UKwUk_YBdOx4BDV6dvfrFXLJS_YRuCQtbnFwF7RlaqtITAEoM_z1JmNBk7vKiaGpCRrga0HFpuUE6GdwzsgELOuW1RaPO8t_-bNm/s200/DSCF1305.JPG" /></a></div>Of course I was itching to find the right band and dive on in there, so I wasted little time and started to check out ads in the local weekly's and the Bay Area's music scene's magazine: BAM.<br />
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I started making calls and going to auditions. I believe the first audition was for a Ramone's type punk band called The Breakouts. They were around my age - mid to late 20's and they all wore the required beat up black leather jackets and torn jeans. They had cool hair. So did I! I thought the audition went well. They were good and professional, but still..punk. I did not get the gig. They thought I pushed the beat too much! Ha! Oh well, their loss. Funny…a couple of years later (after I had joined Game Theory) I ran into Rudy (Breakouts lead guy) and he was cool enough to mention that they made the wrong decision about me! Not very punk rock, but the gesture was appreciated.<br />
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At some point I ended up with a gig or 2 with a blues band from North Beach. Don't remember how or why, but it was sorta cool. But I wanted in a New Wave band! I answered another ad that sounded promising. The band was called Floating Nude and based in the East Bay. It featured some pretty good players, esp. the guitar player and was fronted by a Berkeley woman that sang very..spacey over a fusion of space rock, funk and new wave. We rehearsed about 6 or 7 times and it just wasn't cool enough for me so I left. Back to searching those ads!<br />
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And then..I found this one:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBbj37XgBgJ58dtUlKYrMAzYfw4w2pZlBDO7f3Ord0AbvUEpRGja6vxgQ940uXdINe6_TqPce1O1N6FWMnJTAbjwl_m29C_q27-R3_OSv16kc0w13xLphbheKoKZjjNdANe1ucrqzU_-3/s1600/DSCF1315.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBbj37XgBgJ58dtUlKYrMAzYfw4w2pZlBDO7f3Ord0AbvUEpRGja6vxgQ940uXdINe6_TqPce1O1N6FWMnJTAbjwl_m29C_q27-R3_OSv16kc0w13xLphbheKoKZjjNdANe1ucrqzU_-3/s320/DSCF1315.JPG" /></a><br />
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As crazy as it seems…answering this ad (which I think I found in a record store) ultimately and very convolutedly..lead me to where I am today. This time….I..made the right call.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-36069448632232779272012-02-05T19:46:00.000-08:002012-02-11T13:17:03.635-08:00Why A 55 Year Old Man Has Decided To Get Tattoos<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOLD-K6uNlJEBirSJt8vGiKEBGQ7oE-6gtHc4xSzJJpuhzh4fFgaKhJ_ekFfKGZhkH7aqR7lxBUj3OoLFZV4nJT1B9mEt1QduxGm8-Vg7Uuzp6GZ9d6bXltgl3tz6C0kJtCStwE64BNtpq/s1600/Tattoo-Gun-Needles.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 278px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOLD-K6uNlJEBirSJt8vGiKEBGQ7oE-6gtHc4xSzJJpuhzh4fFgaKhJ_ekFfKGZhkH7aqR7lxBUj3OoLFZV4nJT1B9mEt1QduxGm8-Vg7Uuzp6GZ9d6bXltgl3tz6C0kJtCStwE64BNtpq/s320/Tattoo-Gun-Needles.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707977365378387586" /></a><br /><br />I know, tattoos are old news. Before the advent of <a href="http://pobuck.blogspot.com/2009/02/milestoneda-new-wave-callednew-wave.html">Punk and New Wave</a>, tattoos were mainly for sailors, bikers etc....in the early 80's I had a couple of friends that started to get some. I loved the concept then, as I do now. It's simple. It's art. And it's very personal. And they do not wash off!<br /><br />Before you knew it, it became very popular. Rockers, athletes, hipsters and business people all seemed to be getting them. That bothered some folks, but not me. I think it's cool that anyone would make an artistic and permanent commitment, no matter how trendy it all became.<br /><br />My hesitation was simple. What do I want on my body and who is the best artist to do this? 30 years later, it all came together. I did not take this task lightly. Literally, years (decades) passed before I found the right design and just by happenstance, the right artist to pull it off.<br /><br />It had to be meaningful (to me) and it had to be executed well. As far as meaningful goes, certain subject matters have been stuck in my brain for years. I just had to settle on the right images. Things that are close to my heart. The subject matter basically fell into 3 categories: Film, Music and Science Fiction (old school, of course....I'm an old school guy!)<br /><br />Another factor in all of this is that you are not on this planet forever. Life can be cut down short, and I felt that now is the time. You never know. No one gets outta here alive, and dammit, I want some tattoos! Tattoos look best on young, fresh skin and at 55, I have very few places on my body that remain that way! Fortunately, my shoulder has good skin, and my non-driving side (left) arm is OK, so there were choices.<br /><br />Stacey and just happened to walk in a new satellite location of <a href="http://sacredrosetattoo.com/home.html">Sacred Rose Tattoo</a> in Albany. We met <a href="http://sacredrosetattoo.com/section/146211_Daniel_Herlihy.html">Daniel Herlihy</a> and he allowed us to look through some books of the tattooists that worked at that location. His book blew me away. The tattoo my eyes lit upon was such a small and simple tattoo, but the lines were very clean and his colors were great. I found my guy!<br /><br />I told him about my ideas and he seemed interested in seeing them, thus an appointment was made and now I had to go through my ideas (many images saved on my computer) and choose the one I wanted to start with.<br /><br />I am a huge <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000019/">Federico Fellini</a> fan. His films wormed their way into my heart back in the late 70's when I took a course in college called "Appreciation Of Foreign Films". We had a wonderful instructor, and the very first film he showed the class (on a 16 mm projector!) was Fellini's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047528/">La Strada</a>. Not only did I find the movie beautiful and well made, I was blown away by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0556399/">Giulietta Masina's</a> mesmerizing performance, I simply fell in love with her in this film. A very tragic figure, but filled with such a simple warmth, naivety and a superb comic ability that is just heartbreaking.<br /><br />Our instructor made a special point of describing in great detail of the ultra-fab composer <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000065/">Nino Rota's</a> use of musical themes for each character. Combined with Fellini's images, the music is pure magic for me. Rota served as Fellini's main composer through most of his films and it is a collaboration that I think has never been surpassed.<br /><br />Thus I knew what would be a meaningful tattoo. Something that would represent this image/music mixture that is so important to me.<br /><br />As far as determining the image, I was in luck. Fellini was also a masterful illustrator. He has tons of sketches he drew for his characters and these images lend themselves into what what I consider great tattoo subjects - colorful, whimsical, and a true artistic sense. Luckily, the internet is filled with these images. Also, I have most every soundtrack these guy's did, recorded on CD, which are usually loaded up with photo's of Fellini's drawings.<br /><br />I have an import CD of the soundtrack for La Strada and The Nights Of Cabiria that includes a fabulous drawing Fellini made of himself with Nino Rota. Heart be still! This is it!<br /><br />I now had all the pieces: the art and the artist to render it upon my skin. I went for it and Daniel did such a great job! It really helped seal the deal when I showed him this image. His eyes literally lit up and he smiled. He loved it and I could see that he did and I knew this was going to work out well. And it did. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxgGnfdAES9jl230PbjIyVmJCRpzIckXvbDSGzisoaXOVewmjdpmlwqi0TctDGes8SuuQvcg3UBh9FUbDJdAbplhVt5NQnNKn_mYm6UgBZGl2RDvfRm13DHBTg3URNZpsdiDxLXMrDoGxc/s1600/2011_1231Tattoo0002.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxgGnfdAES9jl230PbjIyVmJCRpzIckXvbDSGzisoaXOVewmjdpmlwqi0TctDGes8SuuQvcg3UBh9FUbDJdAbplhVt5NQnNKn_mYm6UgBZGl2RDvfRm13DHBTg3URNZpsdiDxLXMrDoGxc/s320/2011_1231Tattoo0002.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707978723154066546" /></a><br /><br />I was a little nervous about the pain factor. I know many folks with tattoos, some small, some large, and they all told me that the pain feels like someone is scratching you with a needle (which they are, but the needle is purring away at a million miles an hour!). As it turned out, since this was my shoulder side with no bones to tattoo over (which can be a bit more painful), the experience was not bad at all. Very tolerable. This one took about 2 1/2 hours, which did get a little tedious towards the end, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. And I'm so glad I did.<br /><br />When Daniel was finished, he wrapped it with Saran Wrap and told me to remove it in about 2 hours. After that, wash it gently with mild soap and to just use my fingers. No scrubbing! The first 2 days I would do this several times a day and apply a light layer of Bacitracin. After that, keep the area clean and apply a mild, fragrance free skin lotion, also several times a day for 2 weeks. Expect scabbing and some color to fall off (and not freak out!). In 3 weeks it was basically "healed" and looked like it should, but Daniel mentioned that tattoos really take about a year to truly heal.<br /><br />Of course, after the first one, I couldn't wait for the next one, so about a month later I got Gelsomina from La Strada done on my forearm. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWkaqVuH_O1eGyxDpiWAxsIlUiBq4eMct7GxgeVLF7gUGSBDb0oL_g0NEZM-52D3WPhKEnRVRd40dam3zX2-yphL9xC0EZI6z16LV_PQ5R9e-3NK1OrCqlZgu05IV3vMOsVjmb7RfCnIm/s1600/2012_02030001.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBWkaqVuH_O1eGyxDpiWAxsIlUiBq4eMct7GxgeVLF7gUGSBDb0oL_g0NEZM-52D3WPhKEnRVRd40dam3zX2-yphL9xC0EZI6z16LV_PQ5R9e-3NK1OrCqlZgu05IV3vMOsVjmb7RfCnIm/s320/2012_02030001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707978007657866530" /></a> It's still healing and by God, I've booked my next one. Yep, another Fellini drawing, but after that, I will be done with Fellini. I gotta leave room for my Sci-Fi and music tattoos.<br /><br />Mid-life crisis - no. Art - yes. And I'm a happy guy.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-83378378688441856902010-09-07T17:41:00.000-07:002014-01-13T21:19:39.567-08:00The Happy Eggs (part 2)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjinqXPdkTL4V2oQcJQ2X64xV-aurUnTlzz5DZohNWYjbod8v3YRsVttRQSelAqDe1Qqrm4CHlOB-XZQz25NG-9oCb5Nby5dv4mg7ljol5RgAJTddqIlnUxG2r1jVt00OocDnSyRtvxmlKS/s1600/2010_09060004.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 390px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjinqXPdkTL4V2oQcJQ2X64xV-aurUnTlzz5DZohNWYjbod8v3YRsVttRQSelAqDe1Qqrm4CHlOB-XZQz25NG-9oCb5Nby5dv4mg7ljol5RgAJTddqIlnUxG2r1jVt00OocDnSyRtvxmlKS/s400/2010_09060004.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514336730725477234" /></a><br />
<span style="font-weight:bold;">The Happy Eggs</span> also did many original songs to go along with our quirky covers. At that time in Charlotte, most bands were expected to play an entire evening - only one band on a bill. This required an extensive playlist. I think at one point we had 4 sets of material that contained around 80 tunes! Eventually, it became more common to have 2 bands on a bill - an opening act and a headliner. This was a good idea as far as I was concerned. It was physically very tough to play this manic music for 4 sets. (I remember I was shocked once I moved to San Francisco to find the common practice out here was having around 4 bands on the same bill). In Charlotte, it was also required that the bands supply the P.A. systems and microphones and sometimes a person to run the sound!<br />
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Our originals generally fell into two camps: Jamie usually brought in more pop sounding songs. These were fine tunes, many in the mold of some of the poppier <span style="font-weight:bold;">Costello/Nick Lowe</span> tunes that he was into. At times he worked with a very brilliant and funny lyricist named Mark X.. These songs were generally quick, short, maybe a little snotty and to the point. Fine economical writing. A couple of Jamie’s tunes ended up on <span style="font-weight:bold;">The</span> <span style="font-weight:bold;">Spongetones</span> first album (more on that later!).<br />
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The weirder and quirkier tunes were dubbed <span style="font-style:italic;">“Tweco’s Nightmare Music”</span> (Tweco refer’s to a brand name on one of Murphy’s favorite pieces of costume head wear, and regardless of how it really should be pronounced, we called it “tweako” - much more appropriate!) Most of these songs were collaborative in the purest sense. I have very fond memories of being at Jamie’s house for rehearsals and basically we would start sticking together small individual parts that Murphy, Jamie or myself had floating around in our heads. The EP (which I will discuss in detail in a moment) was a prime example of song writing like this. Nothing was too crazy to try, and usually, Tweco himself (Murphy) would be responsible for some of the most twisted stuff we produced. Jamie would shine it all up a bit and presto - new songs!<br />
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We would also write lyrics to some of these songs in the same manner. We would sit in Jamie’s living room, drink beer and just throw stuff out there! There were a couple of tunes where we would literally trade off on a line by line basis. There were no rules or restrictions. The crazier the better, and some of this stuff was unbelievably hilarious to come up with and perform. At least to us!<br />
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Soon, Murphy started to bring in completed songs and lyrics. They were decidedly <span style="font-style:italic;">“Twekco Nightmare Songs”</span> and a blast to play. I’m sure Jamie would still help polish them off if needed. I only contributed one complete song (which Jamie helped complete), and while it’s embarrassing to be reminded of it today, it was the first original song that I wrote the music, the lyrics and sang lead on!<br />
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In 1981, Jamie arranged for us to go in to Charlotte’s Reflection Sound Studio to record a 4 song 7" EP. Mark Williams was the engineer and Jamie was the producer. We were very excited about this because many bands we releasing 7" singles around this time. The most notable being<span style="font-weight:bold;"> REM’s</span> coveted <span style="font-style:italic;">Radio Free Europe</span> single (which I proudly own!). Jamie’s other band (<span style="font-weight:bold;">The Spongetones</span>) had also recently released a Jamie produced 7". That format was the craze at that time and relatively affordable to make.<br />
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On this record, all four tunes fell neatly into the <span style="font-style:italic;">"Tweco’s Nightmare Music" </span>category. I think these really captured the essence of the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Eggs</span> best. I’m pretty sure Jamie would agree with this, because at that time, he had a more appropriate outlet for his pop songs with <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Spongetones.</span><br />
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Here’s a brief run down on the tunes, as best I can remember..... <br />
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<span style="font-weight:bold;">Wake Up</span>: A great song to kick it all off! A very twisted main riff with the guitar, bass and synthesizer playing in unison with a cool harmony appearing at the last riff. Murphy also gets a very cool bubblin’ synth thing going on in the background. Listening to it right now, I am flat out impressed to the great sound and production Jamie got on this.! It gets real crazy during the verses. The riff switches to 5/4 while I doggedly stay in 4/4. Each line is song by a different singer in this order - Jamie, Murphy and myself. Some very weird backing harmonies by Murphy and Jamie really put this one over the top.<br />
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<span style="font-weight:bold;">Rippy</span>: After a very queasy intro sung by Murphy, the song launches into a tune about a psycho killer that likes to ride the bus. I’m pretty sure these are Murphy’s lyrics with Jamie coming up with the background vocal parts. This one is very <span style="font-weight:bold;">Devo/Talking Heads</span> influenced and I think most of the music is Jamie’s. Murphy's synth parts are inspired and the backing vocals are something to behold. Spot on. This one absolutely killed live.<br />
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<span style="font-weight:bold;">And Sons Of Baskerville</span>: This one was very collaborative. After a short intro of us making goofy vocal sounds, the song gets under way with a guitar lick in 7/4 that I had zipping around in my head at the time. Murphy adds some choice wolf howling that as far as I know, was the only reference to the Hound Of The Baskervilles that I assume Murphy was referencing in the title! The verse is Jamie’s and the lyrics are all Murphy’s and oddly, this is a sweet love song! Some more very inspired alternating backing vocals, and a nice little instrumental break near the end. The finale has the 7/4 guitar lick with Murphy pronouncing that he “believes in the strength of aspirin” which was a line I had come up with. I’m pretty sure this is the song that due to general weakness I was feeling from dealing with the flu while recording, I had to use double sided duct tape on my kick drum pedal to keep my foot from sliding off!<br />
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<span style="font-weight:bold;">Fat Man</span>: I think this is the first song we wrote as a collaborating team. I’m pretty sure Jamie had the song, but the lyrics were a blast with each of us throwing out some offensive line and stringing them together. We would usually start our sets with this one. Murphy would tape down a key on his synthesizer on some crazy setting and I would come out by myself and do a drum solo until the rest of the band felt like getting on stage. Not many punk bands were featuring drum solos back then...<br />
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At the end of this song there is a quick little hidden track of some of us and our wives murdering the theme from <span style="font-style:italic;">My Three Sons </span>at my house. Jamie's on drums, Murphy may be manning the xylophone, the women are on percussion and I am the one playing saxophone, which was later used on our version of <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Resident’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Constantinople</span>!<br />
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I really love this record. The writing, performances, arrangements and the production are all top notch. Jamie did a fabulous job on this (with the help of Mark Williams). Though I would have preferred using my drums instead of the studios' kit, I think this is an awesome record. Though I haven't mentioned Kenny (our bass player during this), I would like to say that he did a great job on this record!<br />
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Also - if Murphy or Jamie read this and would like to add and/or correct any of it, please do so in the "comments"! I would welcome it...my brain did the best it could on this recording made almost 30 years ago! <br />
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The cover art was created by me, literally using old school cut and paste! I had done many flyers at that point, so I offered my services. We released it on Jamie's "Ovo" label. I do not know how many were pressed, but unfortunately, a bunch were lost at Greg Shaw's <span style="font-weight:bold;">Bomp</span> warehouse, never to be found. We occasionally get requests for copies of this record, but they seem to be all gone for good. I only have two!<br />
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We sent tons of them out to record labels hoping someone would pick us up, but no one did. There was a funny rejection letter from Ralph Records saying more or less <span style="font-style:italic;">"anyone who plays DOA and Timothy is either a real sick puppy or my kind of guy"</span><br />
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Cool. <br />
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<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZw3leg1RNSrDMT43Ze8_mwIyiBJ-WWhdrT3E_jV2sj8aqdW79DUKrjJAz9GoltHhNNps33SKzQ-yek199QjIe2IdpptYl60e1K0lH-4WktJnaKVok4Y1yXUuWLscMGbMaHImbMejLLwfV/s1600/2010_09070001.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZw3leg1RNSrDMT43Ze8_mwIyiBJ-WWhdrT3E_jV2sj8aqdW79DUKrjJAz9GoltHhNNps33SKzQ-yek199QjIe2IdpptYl60e1K0lH-4WktJnaKVok4Y1yXUuWLscMGbMaHImbMejLLwfV/s320/2010_09070001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514374818089397362" /></a><br />
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Very cool.<br />
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If you have not gotten yourself a digital copy of this incredible EP already, I think it's time to <a href="http://ax.itunes.apple.com/us/artist/the-happy-eggs/id385785673">Getcha one now!</a>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-67871667519523120642010-09-01T18:09:00.000-07:002014-04-19T19:16:38.065-07:00The Happy Eggs (part 1)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioABn6mz8f-qDmrPQwEkUK3NeR4m17_8aAglT1bGkpEgIeKOPeg13v8WolRtMOndgTzIyNXParYz6_z5u3HLuH7fAf-0bQ4MB3fgcUcuShwbZCiHQk6DoqBOrha26ftczDQLw0Br1ZCWLk/s1600/2008_0522photos0047.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioABn6mz8f-qDmrPQwEkUK3NeR4m17_8aAglT1bGkpEgIeKOPeg13v8WolRtMOndgTzIyNXParYz6_z5u3HLuH7fAf-0bQ4MB3fgcUcuShwbZCiHQk6DoqBOrha26ftczDQLw0Br1ZCWLk/s400/2008_0522photos0047.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512118820667247314" /></a><br />
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At some point in 1980, Jamie approached Murphy and me about cranking up <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Happy Eggs</span> again, but this time it was going to be a whole different ball game than the band that made the 12" single. Jamie was interested in turning it into a punk/new wave band. By this time (thanks to Jamie) I had pretty much accepted that this was indeed fabulous music and while of course I cannot remember the particular details of the discussions that followed, the three of us decided that it was a go.<br />
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Murphy would be switching over to a monophonic Korg synthesizer, and the three of us would handle vocals. Jamie knew a bass player - Kenny - and he was brought on board. Our goal was to have a blast, play well, be open to any kind of music and have an insane stage-show. It was the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Alice Cooper</span> in all of us! We were naturally irreverent fellas anyway, so no music or style would be spared! <br />
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We were a bit older and definitely more experienced than most local punk bands in Charlotte. The Milestone Club had given the area youngsters and punk rockers a place to hang out and see great bands. It was a heavy staple in my diet and I could see the scene evolve. There were bands sprouting up everywhere - some awesome and some sucked - but it was a scene and for the most part a lot of fun. But I remember I felt a tad anxious as to how the scensters were going to accept the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Eggs</span>. It’s silly of course, but to these kids, the worst thing you could be was to be a <span style="font-style:italic;">poseur</span>, and since it is my nature to worry, of course I hoped that we wouldn’t be labeled as such. After a while, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about what the kid’s thought. While we certainly were not “punks” (we all had real jobs!), we certainly were licking our chops at the thought of embracing the snottiness. Here we were, 3 smart-ass pals since high school, and since the three of us would be sharing the vocals.....<span style="font-style:italic;">we all had microphones</span>.<br />
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Good God! <br />
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It was decided that we would play a mixture of covers (straight versions or drastically rearranged versions) and originals, and this evolved into quite a repertoire. The covers were insane. There were some straight up covers of punk and new wave songs. Lots of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Costello</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Police</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Talking Heads</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Iggy Pop</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Lene Lovich</span> (!) even some very uncool covers for the time such as <span style="font-weight:bold;">Adam and the Ants</span>, which at first made me a bit uncomfortable, fearing that to kids would hate it and give us shit about it. I remember people yelling“<span style="font-weight:bold;">Black Flag </span>kills <span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ants</span></span> dead” (man..that takes you back, huh?) and that sort of bothered me, but it didn’t take too long for me to get the appropriate "<span style="font-style:italic;">piss off wanker!</span>" attitude and it was indeed fun to get a reaction. <br />
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There were also some very..<span style="font-style:italic;">bizarre</span>..covers we would do. Again, some straight some not so straight. Between us, we had many years of being rock musicians already under our belts, so the choices here were quite unique. Some of them were hold overs from our glam rock days and these seemed to fit in quite easily into a punk/new wave context: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Iggy Pop</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">David Bowie</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Sparks</span> (I think about 3 songs!) And <span style="font-weight:bold;">Alice Cooper</span>. Some didn’t fit in anywhere: <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Monkees</span>’ <span style="font-style:italic;">Your Auntie Grizelda</span> pops into mind. And there were many that Jamie would do his magic on and reconstruct into new wave madness. He really liked ska beats, so many of these were rearranged into hyper-fast ska beat beauties: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Cream’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Mother’s Lament</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Mother’s of Invention’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Let’s Make the Water Turn Black</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Spirit’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Eyed Woman</span>. He also came up with a very twisted <span style="font-weight:bold;">Devo</span>-esque arrangement of <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Doors’</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Hello, I Love You</span> that was fabulous!<br />
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We did 2 versions of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Bloodrock’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">D.O.A.</span> We were all familiar with it because there was a while when you couldn’t help but hear it on the radio! (I actually saw them open up for <span style="font-weight:bold;">Grand Funk</span>). At first we did it pretty darned straight - Jamie wanted a pretty faithful version. We tried. But dammit, there were just too many quiet parts and me and Murphy could not resist the opportunity to kid around with it (remember...we had microphones!). The nature of the song and the lyrics were ripe for fucking with and we were relentless. Finally, Jamie threw up his arms and gave up on doing it straight. He rearranged it into another brilliant <span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Devo</span>-esque </span>and angular new wave classic which clipped along at a pretty good pace so Murphy and I had very little opportunity to throw in our...embellishments!<br />
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But it was Jamie’s arrangement of <span style="font-weight:bold;">West Side Story’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Jets Theme</span> that to this day, I think is one of the most creative and brilliant pieces of rock and roll genius I have ever had the pleasure of playing. Ever. He took the original and maybe a tiny bit of flavoring from <span style="font-weight:bold;">Alice Cooper’s</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Gutter Cat vs The Jets</span> and stood it on it’s end. It was fast and full of attitude. It rocked hard..It was funny and it really showed what the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Eggs</span> were all about. It’s a snotty masterpiece that retains the original spirit and adds a heaping dose of modern (at the time) irreverence. It was in our wheelhouse.<br />
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<span style="font-style:italic;">Coming up next - we write the songs, we record the songs, Jamie turns into the busiest man in showbiz and much, much more!</span><br />
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And don't forget! Go here and buy!<br />
<a href="http://ax.itunes.apple.com/us/artist/the-happy-eggs/id385785673">The Happy Eggs E.P. on iTunes</a>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-82549974804556156302010-08-21T17:54:00.000-07:002010-08-21T19:07:14.325-07:00Rest In Peace, Jimmy DuckworthYesterday I heard the sad news that Jimmy Duckworth had died. Jimmy, and his brother Larry were two of the finest rock and jazz musicians Charlotte has ever known. While I haven't seen Jimmy in about 30 years, the hurt is real.<br /><br />I first came across Jimmy at one of the Battle Of The Bands showcases that would occasionally take place at the Park Road Shopping Center parking lot. I was very young, maybe 10 years old, but rock music was beginning to settle in my blood. It was the mid 60's and this particular event had little trouble luring me in.<br /><br />There were bands everywhere! Most were rockin' out with gritty garage rock muscle, some were soulful and some were square show bands. I let myself drift over to the dirtier sounding garage bands. The loudness, the excitement, the gear, and the look were all seductive. Two bands stood out - <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Paragons</span> with Pat Walters and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Larry's Sound Dept.</span> featuring Jimmy and Larry. Both bands had players that could play and all looked extremely cool. I was in heaven and these were the two best bands in the world! I honestly believe that this is <span style="font-style:italic;">the</span> cathartic moment that sent me on my rock and roll way.<br /><br />I'm not sure how I got to actually visit Jimmy and Larry at their house (with a couple of buddies), one afternoon. I think we had an older friend that knew them, but regardless, there we were. I remember only three things about that visit.<br />1. They lived in a split level house. Cool.<br />2. They had a St. Bernard. Scary.<br />3. And they had a monkey. A real live monkey. Holy Crap!!!!<br /><br />Years later, I was fortunate to have a couple of music classes with Jimmy at Central Piedmont Community College. We both performed with the CPCC Recorder Consort which was a blast! It was there that I'd like to think we became friends. Not only was he one of the best guitar players around, he was one of the funniest guys I've ever known. He always looked a bit meek and timid to me, but he had a wicked sense of humor. This led to some very funny (and at times, <span style="font-style:italic;">subversive</span>) moments under the always watchful, yet hopelessly naive eye of music director Mary Lou Pascal!<br /><br />Around that time we were all shifting into the jazz scene, some more than others. Jimmy was one of Charlotte's best jazz players and for a little while I dipped my toe into the scene playing in the Charlie Estridge Trio. I've mentioned this before, but Charlie insisted that I only play the drums with brushes and that was fine by me. I could fake it better! But there was that one fateful show that on the very first song, all of the brushes disintegrated and fell out of the handles. Both of them. Jimmy was there. Sorry I sucked so bad that night, Jimmy!<br /><br />Rest in peace Jimmy. You helped this former 10 year old set a course for a pretty decent life in this crazy thing we call rock and roll. You also made me laugh. I know I'm not alone. <br /><br />And you had a monkey.<br /><br />Damn.<br /><br />GilGilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-44090529645805465022010-03-03T19:00:00.000-08:002010-03-03T19:02:53.827-08:00A Serious Case Of Classic Rock-itis!I've been on a CD acquisition binge lately, trading in a bunch of stuff to get a different bunch of of stuff. While most of it is old music, much of it is new to my ears. It's been very fun and rewarding, but it's also a bit overwhelming. There is so much music out there! But I'm down with that. I'm not sure why the bug has bitten me so hard lately, but with the trade-ins and such, I really haven't blown a huge wad of bills on these. And fortunately, I'm very happy with all of them, with just a couple exceptions!
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<br />I did a little bit of research on these by visiting various music sites and listening to small samples of selected tracks. I usually buy "blind" (I guess that should actually be "deaf") but this way I can be more informed and it definitely reduces the amount of take backs. I am saddened that most of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Argent's</span> catalog is out of print..After hearing bits of several of their albums, I decided I must have <span style="font-style:italic;">All Together Now</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Ring Of Hands</span> (in spite of a tune called Cast Your Spell Uranus....) I will keep searching.
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<br />There has been only one title I didn't keep, though...(I will duck as I say this)..<span style="font-weight:bold;">The Byrds</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Sweetheart Of the Rodeo</span>. It just didn't do it for me at this time..and I will probably try it again, but hey, I did keep <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Buffalo Springfield</span> CD!
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<br />Here are some thoughts on these. A serious case of Classic Rock-itist.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUxoQkJmNAq7jIvd8C8WiGLU5fR2BwFZfah6Qtf90y2VfTetbP5HNp-gCx3Chx4-nmU7W0HN7GE-QxWhQ49-YfTVAYIIAv-8IDS-lGfZeGpRGKeFlORFGG9i8GKulfrGURZtG2ARd1YaAi/s1600-h/donovan"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUxoQkJmNAq7jIvd8C8WiGLU5fR2BwFZfah6Qtf90y2VfTetbP5HNp-gCx3Chx4-nmU7W0HN7GE-QxWhQ49-YfTVAYIIAv-8IDS-lGfZeGpRGKeFlORFGG9i8GKulfrGURZtG2ARd1YaAi/s200/donovan" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288709539679346" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Donovan</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Troubadour The Definitive Collection </span>(1964 - 1976)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: Much of this is new to me, with the exception of 2 45's I had as a kid: <span style="font-style:italic;">Sunshine Superman</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Mellow Yellow</span>. Disc one is awesome. I love Donovan's voice and upon hearing the really early folkie stuff wished that <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dylan's</span> voice was as pleasant! <span style="font-style:italic;">The Trip </span>is just the grooviest song ever. <span style="font-style:italic;">London Town</span> is the prettiest song ever. This was also the first time I have heard his version of <span style="font-style:italic;">Season Of The Witch</span>! Thanks to a heads up via <a href="http://halfpearblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/super-session-al-kooper-mike-bloomfield.html">Peter Holsapple's blog</a>,
<br />I have now heard the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Super Session</span> version (awesome), but the one I was most familiar with was the jaw droppingly bombastic but <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> earnest version from the<span style="font-weight:bold;"> Vanilla Fudge's</span> 3rd LP! And I still love <span style="font-style:italic;">Sunshine Superman</span>.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: Anything containing the words "Barabajagal" and/or "Riki Tiki Tavi". I don't care who's playing on it.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrndfi9ktp3abcJqQJJikkLWoLgpx-5OM7RC6zDzFyseeuPxgErqc1JDCxDgU0n067YBE-3aIZiF2nmpYVb9bInw8oCt2waA9YyIMiRnAUxWghZBrFtpgXiiQgzhjXI2aSSZ3KxN7WxNy-/s1600-h/buffalo"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrndfi9ktp3abcJqQJJikkLWoLgpx-5OM7RC6zDzFyseeuPxgErqc1JDCxDgU0n067YBE-3aIZiF2nmpYVb9bInw8oCt2waA9YyIMiRnAUxWghZBrFtpgXiiQgzhjXI2aSSZ3KxN7WxNy-/s200/buffalo" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288851826524562" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Buffalo Springfield</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Buffalo Springfield </span>(1966)
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Groovy</span></span>: Half of this record sounds pretty good to me. <span style="font-style:italic;">Lots</span> of guitars and nice vocal harmonies . My faves are <span style="font-style:italic;">Sit Down I Think I Love You</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Flying On The Ground Is Wrong</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Do I Have To Come Right Out And Say It</span>. There's a folkie/pop/country/rock thing going on here and I think they can usually pull it off.
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Bummer</span></span>: The other half of this record. It doesn't sound tight to me and I think it's recorded terribly. To my ears, some of the playing sounds sloppy. I also wish Stills sang leads more. I'm not a big fan of Furay's vocals.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPl-NWVE8lpfUjnxqow1xa9dUkE-Ibvk_nVJ_QMAasSSuf_ZktdvEQh4Fi-ezX1j-1h7m0RkpWc_aszuL7T3JL94Iex9v18Z_HBsE3jDhmu4TOA_dfuOIl4ZWUFK6msjUQHmea6ssK00J/s1600-h/traffic"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPl-NWVE8lpfUjnxqow1xa9dUkE-Ibvk_nVJ_QMAasSSuf_ZktdvEQh4Fi-ezX1j-1h7m0RkpWc_aszuL7T3JL94Iex9v18Z_HBsE3jDhmu4TOA_dfuOIl4ZWUFK6msjUQHmea6ssK00J/s200/traffic" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443140492906463346" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Traffic</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Smiling Phases </span>(Compilation 1967 - 1974)
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Groovy</span></span>: Well, most of this is in fact pretty damn groovy. The only full album I was familiar with was <span style="font-style:italic;">John Barleycorn Must Die</span> which I had as a kid. This is a pretty comprehensive compilation and will do quite nicely for the time being.
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Bummer</span></span>: Nothing yet.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9yzdVDyT16AmDmaLLvsel0s_XRpEQkRoMgstp2FcPDWcHwD3_MFvQzOA_hB3-siadQXf-OMwlBf4aYf2qX2sBMRx3Y0JDIcregFixQz_IWSmi2OPj4_4HsGJusWlOa-I-aKOzpfMETzT/s1600-h/sailor"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9yzdVDyT16AmDmaLLvsel0s_XRpEQkRoMgstp2FcPDWcHwD3_MFvQzOA_hB3-siadQXf-OMwlBf4aYf2qX2sBMRx3Y0JDIcregFixQz_IWSmi2OPj4_4HsGJusWlOa-I-aKOzpfMETzT/s200/sailor" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441287775876526850" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Steve Miller Band</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Sailor</span> (1968)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: My first toe-dippin' into this band, but better late than never! I really love <span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Mary</span> - very pretty chord progression that sounds very <span style="font-weight:bold;">Hollies</span> - like, but I'm cool with that. <span style="font-style:italic;">Quicksilver Girl</span> is the standout track for me. Just gorgeous. I thought <span style="font-style:italic;">Living In The USA </span>came from Miller later than this, but it's a good one to show off their more rocking side. Even though <span style="font-style:italic;">Dime-A-Dance Romance</span> borrows...liberally..the guitar riff from <span style="font-style:italic;">Jumping Jack Flash</span>, it's a pretty great tune with a very fine vocal performance.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: The above mentioned <span style="font-weight:bold;">Rolling Stone's</span> riff and I'm not sold on the instrumental fog horn cut of <span style="font-style:italic;">Song For Our Ancestors</span> as being the best way to kick off the record.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPvX9Z1-6bmhnwXxluleuLFxZIdT741ZZ565JpvvvQFaw9uSI4kyDt69nP-XSWCh93szds3XzhpObX-qb_6IfJl4vyGQH8ALLRZlWWhmpf-B_XnusbsegXOTQ0YVytb_lckSkcnidP3t8n/s1600-h/james+gang"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 145px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPvX9Z1-6bmhnwXxluleuLFxZIdT741ZZ565JpvvvQFaw9uSI4kyDt69nP-XSWCh93szds3XzhpObX-qb_6IfJl4vyGQH8ALLRZlWWhmpf-B_XnusbsegXOTQ0YVytb_lckSkcnidP3t8n/s200/james+gang" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441287173390822258" />
<br /></a<span style="font-weight:bold;">The James Gang</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Yer' Album </span>(1969)<span style="font-style:italic;">
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: I love Joe Walsh. I love the way he plays and I really love the way he sings! As a kid, I had <span style="font-weight:bold;">The James Gang's</span> "Third" LP (which I need to find on CD), and of course I was familiar with all those Funk #40whatever songs, but the pleasure for me are the cuts with the pretty melodies and his unusual but very endearing vocals. On this record, my faves are <span style="font-style:italic;">Take A Look Around</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Collage</span>. Covering Stephen Stills' <span style="font-style:italic;">Bluebird</span> is a pretty inspired choice, and I'm thinking it works out pretty well.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: All those irritating little studio soundbites in between the songs. I don't like hitting the "next" button that many times!
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNuhDZ583GRbpG2Q6p3gXRXyDKiT9qnkrPFkEH56zT8BuS0V2PJyE49TrPPDL_bV_-kFcYTZlFJ3vgNPHzmwVS8iPCdvTMhww-JqvXoAtpI5wwf-9BTIkm4iTb6DwTchMW1gak9N-4DSn/s1600-h/ccr"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 140px; height: 139px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNuhDZ583GRbpG2Q6p3gXRXyDKiT9qnkrPFkEH56zT8BuS0V2PJyE49TrPPDL_bV_-kFcYTZlFJ3vgNPHzmwVS8iPCdvTMhww-JqvXoAtpI5wwf-9BTIkm4iTb6DwTchMW1gak9N-4DSn/s200/ccr" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442029727906120290" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Creedence Clearwater Revival</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Bayou Country</span> (1969)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: This is my first <span style="font-weight:bold;">CCR</span> album! It's taken me this long, but I'm very glad I finally got one! Swampy, snakey grooves and I'm most impressed with Fogerty's vocals. <span style="font-style:italic;">Penthouse Pauper</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Born On The Bayou</span> are two great examples of his powerhouse pipes. This reissue contains some live tracks that rock very hard. I'm loving this. Must get more!
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: I never need to hear <span style="font-style:italic;">Proud Mary</span> again, and good heavens - the one chord rhythm guitar track on <span style="font-style:italic;">Keep On Chooglin'</span> ! Poor guy's hand must have been killing him...
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyIYByKwwJliGlTO7azTPJQBnt8OtZIM96TlEqsZKy7X_FOdY4gasJU68YvMpvc1BOwv-zYUKyE9mWf2-FpiifZwJc03o_qCrbgn1NHiNQxWH_u357UI_e9152F8K32ov2WGLOPw8EkVa3/s1600-h/zz+top"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 145px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyIYByKwwJliGlTO7azTPJQBnt8OtZIM96TlEqsZKy7X_FOdY4gasJU68YvMpvc1BOwv-zYUKyE9mWf2-FpiifZwJc03o_qCrbgn1NHiNQxWH_u357UI_e9152F8K32ov2WGLOPw8EkVa3/s200/zz+top" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288572131567714" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Z.Z. Top</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Z.Z. Top's First Album</span> (1970)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: Surprisingly, this album is the one that has completely blown me away. I'm shocked as to how great is. It rocks so damn hard! Of course the guitar work is absolutely searing, but the biggest mind blower for me is the drum sound! The snare drum is right in your face. I really cannot think of any other rock records from 1970 with such a big, almost contemporary sound. Check out <span style="font-style:italic;">Certified Blues</span>! It's huge! But it's just not the drums..the whole band plays really well together, and there's even some very surprising tricky stuff going on, in particular the drums and bass on <span style="font-style:italic;">Bedroom Thang</span>. Very cool.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: The use of the word "<span style="font-style:italic;">squank</span>".
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCUAl1usODtl9jYcohgeXarWEvWInj118kKTyoWOvJja-4rsRsNm4LlP7lHfN7Ii_u5f1oj8kHxo59ZltxiuqkSuvVaDG1eAqPdQLJHf-MeZWVULo-Wgfs1aH8A5RNeoZuFWZQIJe1HCqP/s1600-h/walsh"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 145px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCUAl1usODtl9jYcohgeXarWEvWInj118kKTyoWOvJja-4rsRsNm4LlP7lHfN7Ii_u5f1oj8kHxo59ZltxiuqkSuvVaDG1eAqPdQLJHf-MeZWVULo-Wgfs1aH8A5RNeoZuFWZQIJe1HCqP/s200/walsh" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288269623585298" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Joe Walsh</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get </span>(1973)
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Groovy</span></span>: Of course <span style="font-style:italic;">Rocky Mountain Way</span> rocks very hard. His songwriting is getting a bit more complex on this, and it works for me, esp. on the very fab<span style="font-style:italic;"> Meadows</span>, regardless of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Woman From Tokyo</span> riff. It's a hell of a lot nicer here.
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Bummer</span></span>: Sometimes this one gets a little unfocused and maybe too ambitious (<span style="font-style:italic;">Days Gone By</span> dips it's toe into <span style="font-weight:bold;">Steely Dan</span> world (which isn't a bad thing, but it doesn't <span style="font-style:italic;">quite </span>work for me here.), but I may upgrade this one to <span style="font-style:italic;">groovy</span> any moment now...I want <span style="font-style:italic;">Barnstorm</span> next!
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOjH0w8xc4NnU-79B9duPIirtL2mkykOuSqOBjtmR5bnCYrWrTz4JqkK5EiGwAXpdZo_Z8x5CUdffldkAM00mR6jlCBWVHjsoBftQf5iLjmS9VhjnxpcmZg1rtLEvU2SUaZgYtDL2dYU7D/s1600-h/tull"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOjH0w8xc4NnU-79B9duPIirtL2mkykOuSqOBjtmR5bnCYrWrTz4JqkK5EiGwAXpdZo_Z8x5CUdffldkAM00mR6jlCBWVHjsoBftQf5iLjmS9VhjnxpcmZg1rtLEvU2SUaZgYtDL2dYU7D/s200/tull" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441292137264710866" /></a
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jethro Tull</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">War Child</span> (1974)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: With the exception of <span style="font-style:italic;">Bungle In The Jungle</span>, this album is new to me. It seems that I am a huge Jethro Tull fan, esp. the first 5 albums, and of those, esp. the first 2. This one sounds good to me - very proggy and ornate. I love <span style="font-style:italic;">Skating Away On The Thin Ice Of The New Day</span>.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: Though hinted at since <span style="font-style:italic;">Minstrel In The Gallery</span>, Ian Anderson's voice is starting to sound weird and a bit forced. I'm pretty sure this is where I'll stop with <span style="font-weight:bold;">Jethro Tull</span>, and I'm fine with that.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4-6kc6hcLbbms17nVNYTxrBd6fUL1pNWEQ8UbGjb35gav51Q6izeS1Jq7xgFRBs3T05oIYzl4DP2ieBkRd7I7rr9MJOEN72ursKAqJBggYcw8DwTb78fG8NBGh-jFTOacmBk7My8bfATN/s1600-h/squire"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 145px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4-6kc6hcLbbms17nVNYTxrBd6fUL1pNWEQ8UbGjb35gav51Q6izeS1Jq7xgFRBs3T05oIYzl4DP2ieBkRd7I7rr9MJOEN72ursKAqJBggYcw8DwTb78fG8NBGh-jFTOacmBk7My8bfATN/s200/squire" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441289315459237250" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Chris Squire</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Fish Out Of Water</span> (1975)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: I got this when it came out and absolutely loved it! My favorite bass player and drummer together! I think it's the best of the first round of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Yes</span> solo efforts, and listening to it now, I'm shocked as to how pop some of this sounds! <span style="font-style:italic;">You By My Side</span> is a glorious, bouncy pop tune. Bonus points for Squire's voice, which can hit the high notes as well as Jon Anderson.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: This time around I find Bruford's drum parts a tad uninspired. Not much meat for the old boy, but the snare sound is still there, tight as a gnat's ass.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEVc_0F9ysVZcWH_RYecBF2lFuLcUazC8XFFiCQpCqAQAzGpOlAV6jraYY00ERC1jQOBxiKCP0zgKOZDS_gihU0KnMVKlztYaC0nEnIj1w72XGSAan33ozThYKtI3a3JUlE50Gl7m_Fm0/s1600-h/uk"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEVc_0F9ysVZcWH_RYecBF2lFuLcUazC8XFFiCQpCqAQAzGpOlAV6jraYY00ERC1jQOBxiKCP0zgKOZDS_gihU0KnMVKlztYaC0nEnIj1w72XGSAan33ozThYKtI3a3JUlE50Gl7m_Fm0/s200/uk" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288121910802466" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">U.K.</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">U.K.</span> (1978)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: I LOVED this album when it was released. Prog Rock was certainly dying a slow death by this time, so this was a super treat for me. A true proggy supergroup! Of course the main appeal for me was Bill Bruford's drumming. More of his signature snare sound reunited with John Wetton. The playing is awesome, but not as improvisational as <span style="font-weight:bold;">King Crimson</span>. <span style="font-style:italic;">In The Dead Of Night</span> is the standout track for me. Lots of prog-riffage throughout with the help of Alan Holdsworth (with a very liquid sounding guitar) and much keyboard coloring and soloing by Eddie Jobson.
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: This time out, Bruford is primarily using roto-toms which display pretty precise tuning capabilities, but they sound a little cold to me. A far cry from his bizarre multiple sized regular toms (not set up in the usual descending size) he used in <span style="font-weight:bold;">King Crimson</span>. I also find a little bit of Holdworth's style goes a long way. The noodling and liquid sound is a little too jazz-rock fusion for me..at least for now...
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl-Y-C04_xiU2vpy4AnU1QG3vWgGTt5QPPmMifZ0C_Ud7gfgMSJH3pLQE3RmN139Z65KOWC_Uxd6DyjEzix1wr2JGEnd3Jli-OApOQpa_ba4ULPNzU3c1w-JENB09Y0LbRUupioVJY8LgO/s1600-h/xtc"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 135px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl-Y-C04_xiU2vpy4AnU1QG3vWgGTt5QPPmMifZ0C_Ud7gfgMSJH3pLQE3RmN139Z65KOWC_Uxd6DyjEzix1wr2JGEnd3Jli-OApOQpa_ba4ULPNzU3c1w-JENB09Y0LbRUupioVJY8LgO/s200/xtc" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441288417762225186" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">XTC</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">White Music</span> (1978)
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Groovy</span></span>:Heavens..how they've grown! I love this stuff. Along with <span style="font-weight:bold;">Gang Of 4</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Devo</span>, this record in particular convinced me there was a future with no future, for a progressive rock fan like myself. Crazy, energetic and very quirky. Not too far removed from prog rock really, but it was so new sounding and exciting! What the hell???? A cover of All <span style="font-style:italic;">Along The Watchtower</span>? <span style="font-style:italic;">This Is Pop</span>,<span style="font-style:italic;"> Radios In Motion</span>...fantastic. <span style="font-style:italic;">Cross Wires</span>...unbelievable. I love this.
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">Bummer</span>:</span> The crappy bonus tracks that are shoved into the middle of the album. Unfortunately, all other XTC CDs I have suffer from this irritating practice. Hideous.
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPBNGl-Ym3i5-RQnxVGvoF1fMyTHzuNn9Kcg3bbIqHdsu1kgAkuoUyfWYCRDPiKBHnV4H9VMflXyRfAecumSwXP3DXpzJMJaBa5LsVjdD9yveSBfxF9IwzQKZeEPle5-IAKRKv_N-L8bi/s1600-h/jamie_and_steve.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 144px; height: 129px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPBNGl-Ym3i5-RQnxVGvoF1fMyTHzuNn9Kcg3bbIqHdsu1kgAkuoUyfWYCRDPiKBHnV4H9VMflXyRfAecumSwXP3DXpzJMJaBa5LsVjdD9yveSBfxF9IwzQKZeEPle5-IAKRKv_N-L8bi/s200/jamie_and_steve.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442004640711035426" /></a
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jamie <span style="font-weight:bold;">&</span> Steve</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">English Afterthoughts</span> (2009)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: Well, it's a duo effort by my pal Jamie Hoover and super bass player/writer Steve Stoeckel from Charlotte's insanely popular <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Spongetones</span>. These two have been playing together for almost 30 years and it's pretty obvious that they can play and write quite well together! On this release, I'm kind of hearing Jamie in an Andy Partridge mood with Steve being in a very smooth Colin Moulding state of mind. I love <span style="font-style:italic;">Between The Lines</span> and the bouncy <span style="font-style:italic;">Do Be Cruel</span>. A very good release and everyone who is reading this should buy one - it could help us finally getting around to releasing a very nice <span style="font-weight:bold;">Happy Eggs</span> CD!
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: I miss Jamie!
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmFVdz1qL76cwZiKfpHvDh3p64diP1VUYVUhZz7f7P12zJLZ_LUh8tYdWnVxFEQgqw2loQ-yKo-ewWhfktCrocgQPfFOAyCCW3ACUkgHJ8LOV0zD9GNOXs9vu3VKwHnWTypO7M6c5JZSEo/s1600-h/10036.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmFVdz1qL76cwZiKfpHvDh3p64diP1VUYVUhZz7f7P12zJLZ_LUh8tYdWnVxFEQgqw2loQ-yKo-ewWhfktCrocgQPfFOAyCCW3ACUkgHJ8LOV0zD9GNOXs9vu3VKwHnWTypO7M6c5JZSEo/s200/10036.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442004087909368546" /></a
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ennio Morricone</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Quentin Tarantino Movies</span> (2009)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: I love Morricone. I particularly love Italian film composers (Nino Rota!). I must have at least 20 Morricone soundtracks. He is so much more than just his spaghetti westerns!
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: I think this one will be traded away soon. Boo! I find this uninspired. Sorry!
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_gu8g5asKFtT8tUTI9NgGNbVnx04bFmJMPkNXkOz8Bl5iDDJ5uIyy-Td5QasjLA_Q1640PI0m3ZZfLlM7NOpwUCN0CDu9v8eDYpCUcDv3unWAmWt2Kh7v9GItlz0S0uEoLe_T2-3ASOLr/s1600-h/realism"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 115px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_gu8g5asKFtT8tUTI9NgGNbVnx04bFmJMPkNXkOz8Bl5iDDJ5uIyy-Td5QasjLA_Q1640PI0m3ZZfLlM7NOpwUCN0CDu9v8eDYpCUcDv3unWAmWt2Kh7v9GItlz0S0uEoLe_T2-3ASOLr/s200/realism" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441287560278378450" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Magnetic Fields</span> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Realism</span> (2010)
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Groovy</span></span>: I love this. I adore this. I'm really glad Stephin Merritt made <span style="font-style:italic;">this </span>record at <span style="font-style:italic;">this</span> time. I suppose <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Magnetic Fields</span> will always be judged by their breakthrough album <span style="font-style:italic;">69 Love Songs</span> ( which I consider one of the best 3 albums of the 90's, along with <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Loud Family's</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Interbabe Concern</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Flaming Lip's</span> The Soft Bulletin), and this new release sounds comparable to me, and I think that's a good thing. The wonderful and glorious chamber music instruments are back and sound in fine form and are breathtakingly charming. I especially love <span style="font-style:italic;">You Must Be Out Of Your Mind</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">I Don't Know What To Say</span> (with it's fabulously Goffin/King type melody and song structure), and the deliriously beautiful <span style="font-style:italic;">Better Things</span>. Whoa. The cello. The melody. I'm in heaven. On the more adventurous and somewhat goofy side, I <span style="font-style:italic;">adore</span> the absolutely insane <span style="font-style:italic;">The Dada Polka</span>.
<br />Heaven. And it's actually new!!!
<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Bummer</span></span>: Nothing.
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<br />Crazy. My faves are <span style="font-weight:bold;">Z.Z. Top</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Magnetic Fields</span>. Go figure!
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<br />Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-91500327360801417492010-01-14T14:12:00.000-08:002010-01-14T22:53:40.792-08:00Sweet<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNvDGGaS1sKra4Ev6iWlU9RHtnJhqhlN0Ivf4GSrpw8UmfCWO9hYXK0lzR_ETZQI8cmBcgI5DdjuLuFm-rM0R4DPP2UM0noNdJ3bRz7DZ1_ueV0OVlYIYKL5asUfEN-3lKwDYWdMiZO8bI/s1600-h/2010_01140019.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNvDGGaS1sKra4Ev6iWlU9RHtnJhqhlN0Ivf4GSrpw8UmfCWO9hYXK0lzR_ETZQI8cmBcgI5DdjuLuFm-rM0R4DPP2UM0noNdJ3bRz7DZ1_ueV0OVlYIYKL5asUfEN-3lKwDYWdMiZO8bI/s400/2010_01140019.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426753376152195218" /></a><br />Well, there you go. I've graduated! I think I only have two other certificates that have been awarded to me - a Myers Park High School graduation diploma and while I was there, I won a Blue Ribbon Art Award for a linoleum cutting print I did of the coolest art teacher a kid could've had - Dean Barber. May he R.I.P...<br /><br />But anyway, I'm not planning on resting in peace just yet, and while the above certificate does not give me eternal life, it does close a chapter on this journey that began last May. Good Lord! Next up for me will be a blood test in 3 months to check my PSA levels. Hopefully it will be around the zero range. If not, I'm sure the doctors will have yet another course of treatment to put me through, but whatever. We'll see, but I do feel optimistic. I now just want to relax.<br /><br />I have avoided mentioning by name the medical group that has been treating me. I thought maybe I shouldn't divulge who they were for some reason or another, but I'm not going to black out their name on my certificate. I have nothing bad to say about them. Aces in my book, from the diagnosis, biopsy, the endless tests and scans, the surgery, the catheter adventures, the Lupron injection and as just completed, the radiation therapy. I trust them and their doctors. Of course it ain't over yet. They may not have cured me, but that's not the point. They've done everything in their power to <em>try</em> to cure me.<br /><br />But what I want to talk about here are the troops in the trenches. The nurses, the receptionists and in particular, the radiation therapists. These are the folks that do the grunt work. They are on the job 8 hours a day seeing a steady flow of usually very sick and unhappy people. I was extremely lucky to have this particular group of men and women treating me. They responded perfectly to my brand of humor, which I was hoping would help them relax a bit, so I could relax a bit. I learned that this helps me enormously in getting through stressful situations, which became apparent in 1989 when I ended up at San Francisco General Hospital for emergency eye surgery after I got attacked walking poor Stacey (who had only been in San Francisco for about a month!) to my apartment from her job at Tower Records (another R.I.P...)<br /><br />Long story short, a young man ran up behind us and smashed me in the eye with either his fist or some object. The result was a lacerated cornea that required 10 stitches to close, about 20 stitches in my face, and a 5 day stay in the hospital. He didn't rob us or anything, he just hurt me. Aside from knowing something was seriously wrong with my eye, (it felt like there was a huge chunk of glass from my glasses stuck in there - there wasn't), I was overcome with embarrassment that Stacey now had to deal with this. Welcome to San Francisco, honey. It's really a cool place. No, really!<br /><br />In the ambulance, I told the attendant that I was really happy that my nose wasn't broken (one of my biggest fears), and he looked at me like I was crazy. "Sir - you have a very serious eye injury!" Oh..ok. Yikes!<br /><br />At the emergency room, it seemed as if the whole hospital dropped everything and came to my aide. I remember sitting upright as phone calls for eye specialists were placed. Doctors were swarming at my face to get a good look at my eye, as I signed papers saying that I understood I could die during surgery (!), and an anesthesiologist asking me what I had for dinner (steamed spinach and tofu, which fortunately the guy replied with a much appreciated "remind me to never eat at your house!").<br /><br />The thing that was getting to me was that everyone just looked so damned grim. I <span style="font-style:italic;">know</span> they were just doing their job and wanting very much to save my right eyeball (they did), but it was all too much for me. I raised my hand and said "Stop! Is my other other eye ok?" "Yes" a woman doctor replied. "Then could you all <span style="font-style:italic;">please</span> lighten up just a tad? You're freaking me out!"<br /><br />I honestly do not remember how they reacted, but whatever happened, I think that I was able to calm down a bit, enough to give instructions to a nurse to please give a phone number to Stacey so she could call my wife (we were separated at that point) because she knew how to contact my family back in North Carolina. Imagine how my poor little morphine addled brain must have tried to process the sight of my wife <span style="font-style:italic;">and </span>my girlfriend both staring down at me as I woke up from surgery!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2dfOMPr_yokEoj2YspXsp0HPILCiNch-KPH1addB7C3eC9b8SVK_Q0wil1A4VRh9EtT3XeJjUfjgobWN_Z3omuQV_jcDIaIaXLpWEaaxCEu_-HZvy8B3J71VENzxQbGaFg9nnVnLjm0go/s1600-h/2010_01140017.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2dfOMPr_yokEoj2YspXsp0HPILCiNch-KPH1addB7C3eC9b8SVK_Q0wil1A4VRh9EtT3XeJjUfjgobWN_Z3omuQV_jcDIaIaXLpWEaaxCEu_-HZvy8B3J71VENzxQbGaFg9nnVnLjm0go/s200/2010_01140017.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426753586398376386" /></a><br /><br />The point being is that a little bit of levity helps. It's a self-preservation lesson that I have had to call upon many times during my cancer treatments. I was <span style="font-style:italic;">so</span> very fortunate to not have had any significant side effects from the radiation. The doctor told me that I stood up to the treatments "remarkably well", but the tiredness thing could rear it's ugly head after the treatments were over. I'm most pleased that my bladder hung in there like a fuckin' champ even though I now sport a permanent and very strange new...hairstyle...down there..(think Munchkin Merkin...or not....) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT76H05Pjvlz6gaeZtC10UGbwg6UYqxHbopn5MbtuXEzqsEgPZDSRPheOsZ46KlAIEkCR2Ta8cWbYQ_I6Yifc51Skt43EptJ5nmFRDndi7i3W-3ViaiKhHT3Wod7yZD_XGGFqWJCOp0Nra/s1600-h/wizard-of-oz-munchkins.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 152px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT76H05Pjvlz6gaeZtC10UGbwg6UYqxHbopn5MbtuXEzqsEgPZDSRPheOsZ46KlAIEkCR2Ta8cWbYQ_I6Yifc51Skt43EptJ5nmFRDndi7i3W-3ViaiKhHT3Wod7yZD_XGGFqWJCOp0Nra/s200/wizard-of-oz-munchkins.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426753747842685170" /></a><br /><br />(sorry!)<br /><br /><br />But it was still a very stressful 33 sessions for me (too bad I couldn't get one extra 1/3 of a dose in to satisfy RIAA standards!). The endless driving from work to Oakland, the constant battle to avoid constipation, the insane task in arriving with a <span style="font-style:italic;">somewhat</span> full bladder (but not too much!) for the actual zapping, and just plain dealing with something ugly I had to put my body through, yet again.<br /><br /><br />Yesterday at my last session, I was saying some genuinely sad goodbyes to my therapists, and one of the guys (who is a San Jose Sharks fan!) told me this: "Mr. Ray, not many people come through here joking around with a sense of humor like yours. It was a real pleasure working with you." I told him that I have learned in life to always tip your bartender (this goes back to my Game Theory days when drink tickets seemed to be used up during soundcheck...) and most importantly, be good to the caregivers. His comment really made my day, but it is indeed tempered by the fact that it was the only way I could have made it through this, and most importantly, my cancer never <span style="font-style:italic;">hurt</span>.<br /> <br />I'm a very lucky man.<br /><br />Unless something bizarre or newsworthy comes up before my PSA test in 3 months, I'm gonna shut this part of Po'buckra down. I'm going to try to get back to more fun things such as pop culture, adventures with Dexter and hopefully resume my "Life In Music" series. I believe I need to start wrapping my brain around my time with The Happy Eggs! <br /><br />So there you go. <br /><br />I now know that I could die tomorrow and die as a man that knows he is truly loved. I have received so much love and support from loved ones close and far away. The world is filled with great people whose job is to help you and I can now accept them warmly into my heart. It really is a beautiful thing, and I will do my best to give back. Love makes the world go 'round. Treat others nice, cause you never know when you might need a free beer.<br /><br /><br />I will leave you with my very favorite quote from this adventure. This was from an on-call emergency nurse during a particularly rough weekend: <em>"Mr. Ray, the doctor says to relax and don't worry. A swollen and discolored penis is completely normal at this time."</em><br /><br />Sweet.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-16286742291804310422009-12-19T11:13:00.000-08:002009-12-19T20:57:19.762-08:00My Favorite Sound<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyoAZE2SRuraxTkmMfn5J3utfbat3BjoyzaC0sdx5wLHeNEgxQXnzDGQRZ8Wd0h1c1hfOdU_N0OWVA-EC4efbP2mtHVhboIVTXLWox8WRiW0FfVa8lPoxZtHnizBhLmT1aC2lrPAVqb031/s1600-h/2009_12190047.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyoAZE2SRuraxTkmMfn5J3utfbat3BjoyzaC0sdx5wLHeNEgxQXnzDGQRZ8Wd0h1c1hfOdU_N0OWVA-EC4efbP2mtHVhboIVTXLWox8WRiW0FfVa8lPoxZtHnizBhLmT1aC2lrPAVqb031/s320/2009_12190047.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417089012567789154" /></a><br /><br />Check out my cool Xmas/Radiation Advent Calendar! The best thing about it, other than remnants of where Dexter has tried to eat it, is that I'm over the half way point! So far, so good. No major problems or side-effects other than having a bit of a cold at the moment, and a slightly queasy stomach.<br /><br />One thing about this calendar that a couple of people have mentioned is that I get a couple of holiday breaks; 4 days off in a row for the major holidays. I assume the remaining cancer cells do not know this and I hope they will not take it upon themselves to go nuts while the radiation beam, the techs, and myself take some well deserved time off. Maybe I'll trick them and replicate the 20 second high pitched sound I hear as the machine makes it's seven stops around my body each session! Ha! Gotcha!<br /><br />Oddly, the moment I decided to give a listen and to try to make my fellow cancer pals crack a smile, I have found myself the only guy in the waiting room. It appears my sessions are the last ones of the day, so most folks have cleared out. There are plenty of women in the other waiting room, but the conversations sound fine without me. You go, girls!<br /><br />But I have developed a pleasant and fun relationship with the techs that carefully adjust my body so that the laser beams line up just right with the guidance markings and tattoos on my body. We kid around a lot, but not too much. They work hard and are super diligent and I appreciate that a whole lot.<br /><br />But enough of that..I want to talk about snow!<br /><br />North Carolina is getting some snow right now (as is much of the mid-Atlantic states - I have seen some photos friends have posted on facebook). What beautiful stuff! Of course in Charlotte, which seemed maddeningly and perpetually on the wrong side of the fine line of either snow or just rain, the snow was not a season long battle to deal with, day in and day out. It was a unique break in the week that meant no school or work, and how lovely and special it was!<br /><br />As a young adult, I discovered that my most favorite thing regarding snow was the sound it made: No sound at all. Total quiet, especially late at night. I loved going outside to just walk around listening to the crunch of it underneath my feet and then just stopping and listening. Nothing. Stillness. Peace. The world was smothered under a gorgeous white blanket with millions of shiny jewels reflecting the light. So gorgeous <em>and so quiet</em>.<br /><br />I particularly loved looking up at the streetlights and the areas that they would cast their light upon - the trees, the roads, the bushes - all were now other worldly. <em>And so quiet</em>.<br /><br />One of my very favorite Game Theory moments took place in the snow. I do not remember the year, but we were playing at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor. It was at a point of the tour that I just couldn't deal with another slice of pizza for dinner (and actually, a little time by myself was needed too), so I left the club on foot and walked around the neighborhood until I found a little diner. Perfect! At that time I was somewhat of a vegetarian, so I had my usual diner fare of that tour; grilled cheese sandwich, french fries and a coke. (Hey - I just said I was a vegetarian, not a health food nut..) The dinner was fine and it was nice to be alone.<br /><br />While I was eating it started to snow. Pretty heavily, strong enough to start building up on the streets and ground, and swirl around the streetlights. It was beautiful, and I took my time walking back to the club. As I turned the corner, I was absolutely shocked to see that a line, about half a block long, was waiting to get into the club to see Game Theory! Good heavens...I had never seen this before! I continued my walk on the other side of the street and people started to recognize me and call out my name! I was stunned. I stopped to savor the moment - it could be the only time in my career this would happen (it was), so I stood there and took it all in. The snow, the cold air, my warm belly filled with a grilled cheese sandwich, the crunching sound under my feet, the line of fans, the autographs, a fabulous club and a rocking band...and for that one moment it was all mine. I was at peace.<br /> <br />I would like to ask that those of you that are lucky enough to have snow on the ground tonight, to please steal away a moment for yourself to go outside and find a nice spot to stand in and just take it all in. And while you're at it, give it a listen for me. I'd like that. It's my favorite sound.<br /><br />I wish you all love and peace this holiday season, and heartfelt thanks for being here. <br /><br />Love,<br />GilGilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-70103417774498039582009-11-26T13:05:00.000-08:002009-11-27T10:24:00.180-08:00There Are 8 Million Stories In The Naked City......and in the radiation/oncology unit, I'm hearing all of them...<br /><br />I've just completed my first three radiation sessions (only 30 more to go!), and it's already a grind. Driving back and forth to work, the hospital and home, anxiously monitoring traffic conditions on the computer, and well, driving. I cannot stand being late so of course I end up being early, but that's OK. I can leisurely run up to the cafe upstairs and grab a pretty decent sandwich to take back to work for lunch. From there, I check in and let myself into the locker room to change out of my clothes and into my hospital gown. Since my lower parts are getting basted, I have to remove pants and underwear. Shirts and socks and shoes are OK. It's a great look.<br /><br />From there, I go into a small waiting room with 3 chairs opposite 3 more chairs. There is room enough for the chosen ones to walk through to either get to the locker room or the radiation room. When it's your time, the techs come and get you. It's an efficient system, with usually not much actual waiting..if one was not so compulsively early!<br /><br />Part of being a reasonable and good person is to reach out and listen with a sympathetic ear to people that feel the need to tell you their story. Unfortunately, in this case, it is their <span style="font-style:italic;">cancer story</span>. But in this club, you are also asked (and compelled) to tell <span style="font-style:italic;">your</span> cancer story whether you feel like it or not.<br /><br />My first story was from a kind and gentle man with colorectal cancer. It was his last session of his 6 weeks of radiation treatments. His surgery is coming later. He looked pretty good and had a nice, sweet smile. After he told me his story, I paused, not yet sure of the cancer club protocol, and after a few seconds he asked me what my particular problem was. I told him. It wasn't a natural progression of bonding, but there it was, and we did.<br /><br />He was called for and went off for his treatment, and another man entered the waiting room. Disheveled and on crutches, he sat next to me and mentioned I must be new here because he had not seen me before. This was his last week of treatments, so I am definitely the new guy in the club.<br /><br />After he told me the story of his crutches (a 40 year old motorcycle accident), he started telling me of his lung cancer. Since he didn't bother to close the back of his gown, I could plainly see a large radiation sunburn on his back, roughly where his bad lung was. It's actually only half a lung at this point, I learned. The other half was removed 2 and 1/2 years ago.<br /><br />He then told me of how painful it is to swallow, but he has a numbing liquid, the viscosity of "shampoo", that helps somewhat as long as he pulverises each bite of food he takes.<br /><br />At this point I started to freak out. Not on the outside - I was listening, commenting and really feeling empathy for this poor guy, but on the inside, deep within my soul I was was screaming; <span style="font-style:italic;">Nooooooooo!!!!</span><br /><br />I don't want to hear these stories. I don't want to feel pressured to tell my story. <span style="font-style:italic;">This is my fucking cancer and I want to deal with it on my fucking terms. Leave me the hell alone!</span><br /><br />Lung cancer man was then called for and I wished him well. Colorectal cancer guy came out of his session and a very humorless nurse presented him with a certificate of completion! Good Lord. I was wondering if you get a souvenir. The sweet man took it and gave me a quick glance and smile and then asked the nurse, "Does this mean I'm cured?"<br /><br />I was a bit shocked when she matter of factly replied, "No. It just means you have completed he radiation treatment".<br /><br />This is when I realized what my purpose is, here in the Cancer Ward. I reached up and touched the man on his shoulder and with a shit eating grin told him and the nurse, "Man..<span style="font-style:italic;">.that's</span> a loaded question!"<br /><br />It worked. Both laughed.<br /><br />He turned towards me and held out his hand and wished me luck. I returned his handshake with well wishes of my own, and I really meant it. I now understand. While I don't want to be in this club, I am. They don't want to be here, either. We are going through terrible shit, and like it or not we're going through it together. We are going through it for one reason and one reason only - we want to continue living. And what is living, true living, for other than to help one another through the hard times? Those times are here, and now I feel I have place in the cancer ward. Levity. It's not much, but I think it can certainly help my new friends.<br /><br />So whoever I meet next, be it bladder cancer guy, thyroid cancer guy, or brain cancer guy - nice to meet you. I am prostate cancer guy.<br /><br />Like I said, there are 8 million stories in this Naked City, and I'm hearing all of them. But with no pants or underwear on.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-4056273770984293582009-11-09T19:39:00.000-08:002009-11-09T21:05:17.492-08:00Inked!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuTAsVfTRqXCeaBYsDGto1OIqTUS5PX4w79qEF4iWHTAh8MybXiGBkXkzoghpZMZeDREPsa0xOjtO_dEd4j6Lbr8RCiIJfkWEvuEoSpsj6GH0zzh6pyzPFwCamNnTJZvG5GMsEyfqSzZja/s1600-h/2009_11090004.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuTAsVfTRqXCeaBYsDGto1OIqTUS5PX4w79qEF4iWHTAh8MybXiGBkXkzoghpZMZeDREPsa0xOjtO_dEd4j6Lbr8RCiIJfkWEvuEoSpsj6GH0zzh6pyzPFwCamNnTJZvG5GMsEyfqSzZja/s320/2009_11090004.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402314688082031026" /></a><br />I have wanted a tattoo for most of my adult life, but to this day I just cannot think of what I want the tattoo to be of. I have a few ideas, but eventually I guess I will need to just take the concept to the tattoo artist and let him do his thing. The tattoo you are looking at is indeed a tattoo and it is mine, but this is not what I had in mind! It's a cancer tattoo and I now sport 3 of 'em! One on each hip and one on the front, about 5 inches below my belly button. The tattoo is the little black dot in the center of the drawn on lines. It's purpose is to insure they align and target the radiation accurately every session. Ink! Tribal!<br /><br />Today, Stacey and I met with the oncologist/radiologist nurse for information about what I can expect during this part of the treatment. He was very nice, soft spoken and earnest, and I couldn't help but notice that was also <em>really</em> good looking. I was sure Stacey was thinking that too, but I just hope she was listening to what he was saying because my mind tends to....wander...when I have to listen to important stuff like this.<br /><br />He mentioned the most common side effects: burning urination, diarrhea, unhappy skin and tiredness (and you thought we were done with pee/fart & poo talk!). Hopefully the tiredness will not rear it's ugly head well into the treatment. He also gave us pamphlets and support group info (unfortunately, thanks to one of the pamphlets, I learned that my cancer is considered Phase 3, with Phase 4 being the worst. Damn! Printed matter freaks me out!). He showed me the changing rooms and lockers that I will be using everyday, along with I.D protocol which as you can imagine is very important. Don't want someone else's radiation treatment for say...brain cancer!<br /><br />He also talked about the scheduling, which I was concerned about. It would be best if I could get early mornings or late afternoons to help cut down on my travelling between work (Marin County) and the treatments (Oakland), but he showed me the daily list of radiation treatments this particular center gives and I was astounded. About 5 pages of a list of names in pretty small print. There are a lot of people getting these treatments.<br /><br />After the orientation, I was off to get a cat scan of my pelvic region. This is to help them map out where they want the radiation to be administered to. I met the 2 techs (that I will definitely get to know over the course of 6 weeks!) and they explained a bit more about all of this.<br /><br />There was a bag type thing that they positioned under my legs, once I was laying on the cat scan table. After they positioned me, they inflated the bag and it formed a mold of the backs of my legs. This is another method of achieving accuracy in targeting the beams of radiation. Every session it will be put under my legs to hold me in the correct position. Then, with the guidance of laser beams, they started to mark my body with markers. Once they were satisfied with that, they put a drop of ink on the 3 specific areas and poked it into my skin with a quick needle prick.<br /><br />That was that. Got my tat. Oh yeah...this clinic also provides valet parking. I'm so....Dennis Rodman!<br /><br />Next Friday I go in for a x-ray and weigh-in. The Monday after that, I begin the radiation. Talk to you then!Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-54938038346345754682009-11-03T19:30:00.000-08:002009-11-03T19:40:29.606-08:00Next Stop - Radiology!Well now....I've been feeling absolutely great for the most part these last several weeks, but now it's time to go back to the hospital and start feeling crappy again... Nice!<br /><br />Next week Phase 546 begins of my cancer treatment: Radiation Therapy! Can you tell how excited I am? Not. Whatever - time to blast those rogue (Palin-like) cancer cells that are still partying around my nether regions. I am <span style="font-style:italic;">so</span> not looking forward to it. Maybe even more than the surgery. That was something finite - an event that would happen and then be over, with allowances for recovery, of course, but in the weeks leading up to it I just sort of accepted it, cussed at it, but didn't really dread it.<br /><br />Not so with this, though. It just seems so... <span style="font-style:italic;">unrelenting</span>. A radioactive blast everyday, Monday through Friday for about 6 weeks. The possibility of the return of very unattractive side effects. Cumulative wiped out-ness. And a whole bunch of unknown thrown in for good measure. More work hours to be reduced and more paperwork for benefits. More, more, more.<br /><br />The hormone treatment hasn't been bad, though. The hot flashes are seldom and mild, but my emotional state has fallen to a pretty permanent state of crankiness. I'm a son of a bitch right now, but I guess that's to be expected. Grrrr.<br /><br />But with all that being said, I will get this done. Not much choice in the matter if I don't want this particular disease to do me in. I will do it with Stacey's help. I will do it with support from my sibs. I will do it with love in my heart from all of my friends, close and distant. But most of all, I will do it because <span style="font-weight:bold;">I Am Atomic Man</span>.<br /><br />So there. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRxWCctoCDh7w8pv3OJL8LS1_tmgSJ5s3X9MKaVJsPejs9W6H9jD8j7BeqFPtLHb110wOcgtiglUo07sDTmXPyzzjwJlL-jHjZEWF2w7P5jN02QlOOqyLGZbSP5qh5LM0fSCMflqLVmAX/s1600-h/150768-200.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRxWCctoCDh7w8pv3OJL8LS1_tmgSJ5s3X9MKaVJsPejs9W6H9jD8j7BeqFPtLHb110wOcgtiglUo07sDTmXPyzzjwJlL-jHjZEWF2w7P5jN02QlOOqyLGZbSP5qh5LM0fSCMflqLVmAX/s400/150768-200.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400085199613207474" /></a>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-31443875609475916602009-10-14T19:20:00.000-07:002009-10-14T19:58:29.371-07:00Excuse Me????<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05e1FkukvNJzpzeWcqoS4k8U2ARXHf6FgP2zrFDq0UbFocROIv4RGFYcQ01-r62_DwBuk3XcoZx6V5xAj3usoba1YkgB38DPeFRVFphDH8AvL3YVo3mOwVtPbTWYTYl46DsiH4YuB-xw0/s1600-h/Photo+16.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05e1FkukvNJzpzeWcqoS4k8U2ARXHf6FgP2zrFDq0UbFocROIv4RGFYcQ01-r62_DwBuk3XcoZx6V5xAj3usoba1YkgB38DPeFRVFphDH8AvL3YVo3mOwVtPbTWYTYl46DsiH4YuB-xw0/s200/Photo+16.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392649988590767970" /></a><br />Well...this is a bit bizarre...Some doctor did some study of guys that had the same procedure as me, and discovered that robotic/laproscopic surgery to remove the prostate is more likely to result in erectile dysfunction and incontinence. Nice. I was told by the head of the urology department <span style="font-style:italic;">and</span> my surgeon the opposite. I believe them. Not this guy. And I'm fine with my decision. Makes sense to me that high magnification and robotically controlled instruments would be much more effective in sparing those gosh darned nerves, then having your belly sliced open and putting your faith in the shaky hands of a hungover surgeon....just kidding.<br /><br />Really...I'm good. But this is still bizarre.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/14/MN4M1A58K3.DTL">naysayers of robotically assisted prostate surgery</a>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-63780896411102270932009-10-03T13:35:00.000-07:002009-10-03T13:54:06.004-07:00(Hot) Flash Report!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyjJ2aRNGFSH0l3u4RBiCSmiYvjF7mJi3Z6RnV8_6xk0YHnzW3GRwbgvy-YRcX5bFGD0kSjgQ5IpTBgPFd4dm_Ww0qXAcc9GCES_TmjDvy-4vOmXy7cal1aeb2555eyNx_TNZ-X2PPNj-m/s1600-h/Photo+13.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyjJ2aRNGFSH0l3u4RBiCSmiYvjF7mJi3Z6RnV8_6xk0YHnzW3GRwbgvy-YRcX5bFGD0kSjgQ5IpTBgPFd4dm_Ww0qXAcc9GCES_TmjDvy-4vOmXy7cal1aeb2555eyNx_TNZ-X2PPNj-m/s320/Photo+13.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388479128233416706" /></a><br />Ok - it's been over a week since my Lupron injection and about the only thing to report is general tiredness (at times pretty extreme) and headaches (not too bad). It has made me miss some work hours and the thought of adding radiation treatments to the mix is a bit depressing.<br /><br />No signs of hot flashes yet, bigger boobs, or my inner girl busting out. I'm on the lookout, though! <br /><br />I'm just tired.<br /><br />Lack of male hormones can contribute to loss of muscle mass, so I'm taking calcium supplements and going through some reps with 10 lb. weights. If I get bigger boobs, they will at least be...firm!<br /><br />Jesus! I think I don't like <span style="font-weight:bold;">Led Zeppelin's</span> "Physical Graffiti"!Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-65637060320191666852009-09-20T17:50:00.000-07:002009-09-20T18:17:50.977-07:00A: Don't Pay Her.<span style="font-weight:bold;">Q: How do you make a hormone?</span><br /><br />Creepy. My hormone therapy starts this week and I'm feeling creeped out about it. It gets creepier, too. There's just something so unnatural about what my body is getting ready to go through. There could bizarre side effects (most common) and crazy out of this world bizarre side effects (not so common). As mentioned last time, most likely I'll lose even more sex drive and have hot flashes. The hormone therapy expert called me and explained the whole deal to me. She also warned me to not read the uncommon side effects in the literature she sent me. I peeked and wish I hadn't. Trust the experts!<br /><br />Now, yet another Gil Ray Special Curveball has been thrown at me. While the hormone therapy drug (Lupron) is being used to suppress testosterone level, oddly, upon the initial injection, my body will want to flood itself with testosterone! Not good. So tomorrow I start taking <span style="font-style:italic;">another</span> drug to reduce that event. Fortunately just a total of 6 tablets.<br /><br />I just get the feeling I'm not going to feel like myself (for better or for worse) for about 6 months. Maybe it will not be so bad - I'm willing to accept tolerable! We'll see.<br /><br />Weird. Strange. Uncanny.<br /><br />And definitely creepy.<br /><br />But I got to keep looking at big picture. If all goes well, I'll be able to look back at these coming 6 months and wonder what all the fuss was about. <span style="font-style:italic;">Ahhh...good times!</span>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-43481654622350855502009-09-14T19:08:00.000-07:002009-09-14T20:39:19.216-07:00Glow Worm<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIufkHDT_mZtTPv8rRgKVtUzcdVKAAoOdzZSTqfCjUDtXQQrFBS0oLAMRbMsOgXwGMO1KLkzDS96olIXJ3JKIxd8teqeoQCqG5bQ_C5QwunevoQ69NS3cQEYkqkY1Dy_WNHi4ySNH8OPo/s1600-h/Photo+9.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIufkHDT_mZtTPv8rRgKVtUzcdVKAAoOdzZSTqfCjUDtXQQrFBS0oLAMRbMsOgXwGMO1KLkzDS96olIXJ3JKIxd8teqeoQCqG5bQ_C5QwunevoQ69NS3cQEYkqkY1Dy_WNHi4ySNH8OPo/s320/Photo+9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381532806727692450" /></a><br />Ok - back to the grind! I almost forgot that I have cancer....<br /><br />Today, my wife and I had our initial consultation with the Radiation Oncologist in Oakland. My surgery was over 2 months ago, and now it's time to deal with Phase 2 of <span style="font-style:italic;">the cure</span>.<br /><br />Unfortunately, my PSA's "undetectable" number of .1 will have nothing to do as far as the radiation treatment is concerned. The fact that my Gleason Grade got upgraded to a "7" after my surgery lab-work is the number that is driving the rest of my treatment. Not unexpected, but still a bummer.<br /><br />I continue to be impressed with each new doctor I see - the oncologist methodically and deliberately recapped my whole prostate history. It's a great sign that my health care providers are all on the same page and I really feel they are doing their best in achieving good results for me. My super smart brother reinforces this, but there was a bit of a curve ball thrown in the mix today, that was briefly mentioned at some consultation, with some doctor, many months ago: <span style="font-style:italic;">hormone therapy</span>! <br /><br />Here's the deal - later this week I will get an injection of a drug that will suppress my testosterone levels. How dare they! Don't they know that at work I am known (at least by one crazed woman from El Salvador) as <span style="font-weight:bold;">El Toro</span>! <br /><br />Actually, <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Bull</span> is humbled and now knows that testosterone can promote prostate cells to grow which in <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Bull's</span> case is something to be avoided while they blast away at my prostate...area...with beams of radiation.<br /><br />The common side effects of this drug are two things: Reduction of sexual libido (at this point I almost burst out laughing), and possible hot flashes similar to what women go through during menopause (at that point, Stacey almost burst out laughing). Fine. Whatever.<br /><br />2 months after this injection, I will start the radiation therapy. The scary thing is that we know way too many people going through stuff like this, so I was not surprised to learn that my radiation will be roughly one 15 minute session a day (Monday - Friday) for about 6 weeks. 34 sessions. Fuck. But <span style="font-weight:bold;">El Toro</span> can handle this. I also learned that my 30 year quest for getting a tattoo will soon be over! While not a very exciting or colorful tat, I will have 4 dots tattooed on various parts of my abdomen to help guide the targeting of the radiation. Cool. Ironic, but cool.<br /><br /><br />The main side effects of the radiation could be even more bladder/catheter fun, possible rectal bleeding and diarrhea. Since I seem to possess the world's tightest bladder sphincter, retention could very well be in the cards, but again, I am <span style="font-weight:bold;">El Toro</span>.<br /><br />During all of this there could be one or two more injections of the hormone suppressant, with a final dose at the end of the radiation. If all goes as planned, I'll be done in 6 months.<br /><br />Now I have 3 doctors telling me that even with the creepily consistent...curve balls that seem to keep coming my way, my prognosis is till very good. It's just getting there that sucks, but like I said, at this point, <span style="font-weight:bold;">El Toro</span> can deal.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-54317181021362347992009-08-30T19:38:00.000-07:002009-08-30T20:17:16.579-07:00Point OneYesterday I had started composing my next post regarding the next stage of my cancer treatment. I've gone back to it today, and I'm finding I just don't really feel like putting a whole lot of effort into it. But this time, it's not frustration holding me back, or broken spirits preventing me from tackling this again. Far from it.<br /><br />Finally, I got a number that I can live with. It's a very tiny number, too.<br /><br />.1<br /><br />That's not a typo, friends. That number means that my PSA level is dang near undetectable.<br /><br />At this moment, I do not know how this will effect the radiation treatments that were scheduled to start around now. It's possible that I may need less. I will know more once I meet with the oncologist. But I do know that my surgeon is very excited about this number.<br /><br />So - I'm gonna ride this for a while. I just don't feel like writing about some potential bladder problems I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm going to look at the big picture for a while, and learn to love the very small number that I have earned.<br /><br />.1<br /><br />I'm not out of the woods yet, but the woods just got thinned out.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-58439161801427930542009-08-12T15:34:00.000-07:002009-08-12T21:45:08.843-07:00Born Under A Really Bad Sign<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjesV_9d_HdVqHAGjK2CBlLRMe4Mt6hyI_CqWOZZSYFVmLXEYygJII2WAYxNDFizg2SrJO1hj-EAM2-7GNNWJdmBmP3P2lLB2o-yopoB4udk9DjyS2vAO39FUGAATgzyfC000LT7Gdk8s9N/s1600-h/baker_1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjesV_9d_HdVqHAGjK2CBlLRMe4Mt6hyI_CqWOZZSYFVmLXEYygJII2WAYxNDFizg2SrJO1hj-EAM2-7GNNWJdmBmP3P2lLB2o-yopoB4udk9DjyS2vAO39FUGAATgzyfC000LT7Gdk8s9N/s320/baker_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369222272507980546" /></a><br />Probably my first favorite drummer on the whole planet was Ginger Baker of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Cream</span>. His fiery red hair, demonic looks, but most importantly, his playing sent me reeling into the world of serious rock drumming. Of course the guy from <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Safaris</span> that played Wipe Out, and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dave Clark's</span> fab sounding snare drum caught my ear first, it wasn't until later in the 60's and the advent of psychedelic music that I learned to get deeper inside the music and knew for sure that I wanted to <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> be a rock drummer.<br /><br />Ginger was a force. I was infatuated with his double-kick drum set (so much so, I persuaded my mom to order me a second bass drum from Charlotte's Howren Music!), but most importantly, his playing was (actually, still is) so strong, perfectly combining rock chops with jazz, R&B and elements of World Music - specifically African drumming. He really understood and brought forth the herky-jerky world of syncopation. While a reviewer from Rolling Stone (I think!), derided this performance, I think his fab display of syncopation on <span style="font-weight:bold;">Creams's</span> version of Born Under A Bad Sign is a thing of beauty. Such a strange beat! I have trouble even <span style="font-style:italic;">trying</span> to understand what the hell he's doing, but it tickles my ears. <br /><br />In the new issue of Rolling Stone (probably the first one I've bought in about 20 years!), there is a fascinating, yet ultimately disturbing look into Ginger's current <br />life. What demons! According to the article, he has been chased out of just about every place and country in the world he has lived in. He now lives a bitter and solitary life with a young South African woman (whom he seems to treat like shit), some dogs and his beloved polo horses...OK, bonus points for being an animal lover..<br /><br />He appears to be addicted to a morphine inhaler, pain pills, anti-depressants and still puts away 3 packs of smokes a day. The townspeople all hate him - he carries a stun gun for protection - and he seems to believe that assassins are after him. Unfortunately, he has had dogs poisoned and horses maimed. He just does not sound like a very pleasant gent!<br /><br />The weirdest thing that struck me is that even since <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Graham Bond Organisation</span> (around 1965), he and Jack Bruce <span style="font-style:italic;">still</span> cannot get on in life and be in the same room together! Bruce approached the other members of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Cream</span> regarding another reunion tour that would have brought them millions of dollars, and Baker responded by shouting "There is no way!" and bitterly recounted how that last reunion ended terribly with he and Jack going at it regarding stage volume. <span style="font-style:italic;">They have been doing this for over 40 years!</span> They have hated each other for about 43 years! <br /><br />Whatever, it's a shame. But it's also sad. I hope Ginger Baker can find peace. It sucks when one of your heroes is a prick.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeMLa2e2rzfMzQU39JRZdUr-UpGyIDggRXOk7aQb8-34w_7deXrpJ_AnI4NxbfQQh62atdUj3J1lQNy3_JL9Yi1WwEXNP_B9TQOhF0B27SlTdczAwGtj7HebpZ1dOcpiJJmL6ihzj6WyWu/s1600-h/ginger-baker-slider1a.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeMLa2e2rzfMzQU39JRZdUr-UpGyIDggRXOk7aQb8-34w_7deXrpJ_AnI4NxbfQQh62atdUj3J1lQNy3_JL9Yi1WwEXNP_B9TQOhF0B27SlTdczAwGtj7HebpZ1dOcpiJJmL6ihzj6WyWu/s320/ginger-baker-slider1a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369220567008658002" /></a>Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-63087519975522410962009-07-31T11:23:00.000-07:002009-07-31T11:29:52.781-07:00This Chapter Is Closed!It's been quite a journey so far. I think I'm going to close this chapter that ended with the operation. Fun things continue to pop up, mostly catheter removals and re-insertions (3!), and on going digestive problems. The catheter is gone! My continence is more or less intact, and erections remain to be seen or dealt with. But I survived. I may start this up again if there are any more unforeseen developments and I will definitely crank it up again once my radiation treatments start. It's my public service duty!<br /><br />Mostly, the response I have received to this blog has been wonderful. It kept me going in many ways, and it was great therapy for me to write this stuff down. It really was a crazy road I went on and if anyone out there has to do the same at some point in their lives, I hope this will have been of some help. Realistically, I don't think I was the normal case. If I had a nickle for every time a doctor or a nurse said - <span style="font-style:italic;">"It's not uncommon for this to occur, but it's not the normal reaction"</span>, I'd be a rich man.Very rich.<br /><br />I have learned so much in the last couple of months! Some good things and some unsettling things, but it's been quite an education. <br /><br />A few people found the descriptions too detailed and graphic. Well...it is reality. Unfortunately, practically every issue that popped up was about the penis, bowels, rectum, gas, constipation, bloody urine, erections (and lack thereof) etc......,. But again, that's the reality of prostate surgery. It ain't pretty. Just be glad I didn't write about the day I woke up with a horrifically swollen and disgustingly discolored penis! This phenomenon occurred on a weekend so I had to describe all of this to an advice nurse - "My...that is interesting. I'll call the urologist that's on-call and call you back."<br />She did, and by luck of the draw it happened to be my urologist! His reply was - "Tell Mr. Ray that this is completely normal, and to not be surprised if it moves down to the scrotum, and that there is no need to take any Valium!". This was special in many ways. I guess it is well known throughout my whole medical organization that I'm a very stressful patient and need to take Valium "as needed". Great. It also would have been nice to have gotten a...heads-up....on the brutalized pecker syndrome. Oops, another graphic story has leaked out!<br /><br />I have learned that I must be a terrible patient! I swore I was going to be a good one, but failed miserably. My pain tolerance is way lower than I thought it was going to be. I hurt like a mofo! Not from the incisions (I actually only took one Darvocette once we got home), but the stomach cramping, the gas, the constipation and the freaked out bladder were mighty painful. I literally chewed on towels in the bathroom and broke down in tears many times. Then my hyper-stress would kick in and I was a goner. This resulted in many e-mails and calls to my doctor and/or advice nurses. I know I have been through a lot, but while <span style="font-style:italic;">not uncommon, I don't think this was the norm</span>. Stacey hesitated in telling me this, but during our first meeting with the surgeon, he asked me what I thought my pain tolerance was. I told him I thought it was pretty high. At that point, he made eye contact with Stacey and she was shaking her head (out of my line of vision), wordlessly telling him the opposite. She was dead on. Of course.<br /><br />Nurses are truly a gift to mankind. Doctors get the spotlight and try to cure you, but it's the nurses that can actually help heal you. I love them all. They are empathetic and helpful. They are calming and nice. They all need a raise, which brings up one of the most stunning discoveries I made in the 2 days I spent in the hospital. Due to our current economic woes, there could be a whole lot fewer of them to help patients like me, in need of their comforting and helpful presence and skills.<br /><br />I actually saw in real-time people's jobs get axed. A young woman made an appointment with Stacey and I to train us on catheter care at home. A few hours after we made the appointment, she called and told us that her job had been eliminated! Not to worry, though - the nurses were more than qualified to teach us, (which they were). Yikes! Several nurses were a bit edgy, wondering if they would be subject to lay-offs that were happening at other hospitals. We saw a room (many times during the 24 hour fart-march) of abandoned equipment with the words "Does Not Work" scrawled on them. Bottom line - less people working means less people with medical insurance. Less people with medical insurance = less people going to doctors and medical centers for treatment and care. I am not smart enough to have any sort of answers for this, but something is very wrong here. These are folks that can cure, heal, take care and comfort us, and now there are fewer of them. It's very basic. Something has to change.<br /><br />But the most important thing I have learned through all of this, is that love and support are the things that really heal you. I have been blessed with the most wonderful wife in the universe. If it wasn't for Stacey I would probably still be in the hospital trying to pass that damned gas. She has been there every step of the way, from changing my catheter bag to listening to me fall apart. She "talked" our cat into a state of unprecedented good behavior. She missed a lot of work, and always got me to the doctor's office, the hospital and even the Emergency Room on time. She never complained about by foul moods and anxiety. But the thing that really blows me away is this: She's still here.<br /><br />My brother and sister had my back on all of this, from getting free second opinions from one of the foremost medical centers in the world, to actually checking out the robot that sliced and diced me. They stayed positive, they listened and they encouraged. One of the most important things they did was to convince me to not feel guilty about putting Stacey through all of this by simply stating: "That's what people in a good marriage do." <br /><br />I am still overwhelmed about the love and good thoughts I got from friends, close and distant. The generosity that has been sent my way has been unbelievable. I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world. My heart has been enriched, and ultimately that is the thing that will heal me. <br /><br />Love. Plain and simple.<br /><br />I am humbled. We will kick this cancer's ass.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-79367653655938140112009-07-24T11:57:00.000-07:002009-07-24T11:58:26.135-07:00I'm Walkin'Stacey says the first thing that I said after waking up from the surgery was "Alright! I didn't die on the table!" I then told my nurses that I loved them.<br /><br />I am real hazy as to what was happening after that. Stacey told me that the surgeon told her that it went well, lymph nodes looked clean, I lost very little blood, but unfortunately he couldn't spare one side of the "boner" nerves - apparently there was a soft, sticky part of the gland that they were attached to. With that, my chances of getting an erection has now been reduced from about 60% (the surgeon's record) to about 20%. Ok, fine. I've said it all along - preserving the boner was not my priority, but I wasn't happy that the numbers have now changed.<br /><br />I remember moving my legs to make sure that I now didn't have "Accidental Clown Leg" and they moved just fine! I don't think I mentioned this earlier, but I had to sign off on a second procedure the surgeon wanted to perform. It's called a lymph node dissection, and what happens is that after the prostate is removed, he wanted to take 10 sample lymph nodes from both sides of my groin area. He would dissect them, get a pathology report and if no cancer was present in these (the most likely ones to initially go bad), we could pretty much rest assured that the cancer has not gotten into my lymphatic system (which we don't want at all!)<br /><br />But there are risks.....The first risk is just the usual "You might need a lot of blood if I accidentally nick an artery" Ho-hum. But the second risk is much more interesting!<br />There would be a small chance that he could damage a nerve that CONTROLS THE INWARD MOVEMENT OF MY FREAKIN' LEG!!!!<br /><br />Ok, let's reassess the risks - incontinence, erection dysfunction, bleeding profusely, and now leg movement....WTF! Ok doc, I'm gonna mull this one over. Which I did, and with the advice of my very smart brother (risk is really small) and further discussion with the surgeon (only one case in the 90 he has performed and that one healed itself within a year) I signed off on it. My buddie Murphy came up with the insanely funny name of this syndrome and I'm really glad I don't have it!<br /><br />I was rolled into the Recovery Room which consisted of about 10 beds, most of which had those curtain-type things you can pull around for some privacy. In the center of the room were nurse stations. Fortunately, I had a private corner room which actually had a door on it. The door mostly stayed open, though.<br /><br />Once in the room, I think they let me sleep for a little and attached automatic compression leg...warmers..on each calf. This is to prevent blood clots which are not a good thing to get. They would constrict off and on which was a weird feeling, but it didn't bother me at all. What bothered me was the 24 hour death march the nurses soon forced upon me.<br /><br />During the surgery, I was on an incline with my head pointing down. It gave the surgeons the best access to my innards. They also pumped my abdomen full of air/gases. Most people have little problem releasing these gases by walking around a little. <br /><br />Not me. So I had to walk. For about 24 hours. It sucked.<br /><br />So there I was, soon after major surgery, pushing my IV and catheter around on a pole. I saw patients arrive and leave. I saw about 3 or 4 shifts of nurses come and go. I saw a man that had the same procedure as mine get up, power walk a lap or 2, then dress himself (including putting on his own damn shoes), and leave. There were no windows so I had no idea what time of day or night it was (though there were plenty of clocks, all in military time).<br /><br />Nothing was leaving my body. My stomach was bloated and distended which hurt my incisions (6 in all - 3 small ones on my left side, 1 on my right along with a drainage tube, and the largest incision underneath my bellybutton.). The nurses administered pain medication when I asked, but unfortunately the good ones (narcotics) were constipating, which is something I really had to avoid due to extensive and delicate needlework holding my vital organs together. I also learned that there is no medicine that can ease the pain of gas. It was all up to me.<br /><br />Obviously I had plenty of time to get to know some of he nurses. They were all awesome, and they did their best to help me through this. I found the ones that I could joke with, and through all of this we could find reasons to laugh. Of course most of this had to do with my inability to fart, but farts are always funny. My favorite line I heard was "I hope I'm not behind you, when you do pass the gas, Mr. Ray!" It was funny, but also pathetic in a way. I was on this endless and tiring mission to rid myself of this damned gas, walking in circles forever, feeling about 90 years old. God - all I need to do is fart.<br /><br />Stacey was in and out. She took Jennifer back into San Francisco, then went by our condo to check on Dexter. It was much more pleasant to be on the "Fart Watch Walk" with her by my side.<br /> <br />But as time moved on, it started to get less and less funny. The pain was building, as was my abdomen, as was my stress level. Nothing was working. I received a call from the doctor and I told him that in the past (if I had gas that was a bit stubborn), I would just walk around, massage my belly, do a deep knee bend and let 'er rip. He was not too terribly impressed. I asked him if anything could be put up my rectum to help release the gasses that seemed to be knocking on the door, and he responded that at the moment, my rectal walls were too thin to do anything invasive, without potentially terrible after effects. Keep walking.<br /><br />I soon received a visit from his assistant. He told me that the doctor had to move my bowels around a lot during the surgery due to some adhesion problems (?) and when bowels are moved around that much, they can get temporarily paralyzed. Sweet.<br /><br />I found it ironic that I could deal with the pain of stainless steel surgical blades, slicing and dicing my insides, but I couldn't handle the pain of....<span style="font-style:italic;">air</span>.<br /><br />Keep walking.<br /><br />I was so exhausted by this point I could barely move, but I trudged around, enviously eyeing patients that were blissfully sleeping. I would wonder what each one's problems were. Some were obvious like he poor man with 2 broken legs, or the lady with an eye bandage. Some were mysterious, like the man that was brought in lying down on his belly. But no one else was walking. Just me, and at times with Stacey by my side.<br /><br />Suddenly there was a new nurse in our ward, and I told her of my problem. She was a no nonsense type that looked over my chart, and seemed a bit upset that some of the nurses had been giving me morphine. At that point, she just took over. Gave me a drug that let me sleep for a couple of hours. Another nurse brought in a roll away bed for Stacey and we both got some much needed rest.<br /><br />After that, we continued our walk and finally....I gave birth to Fred the Wonder Fart! Once he appeared, more were to follow. Stacey and I cheered and high fived each other. The nurse that was now on duty congratulated me. I apologized to the sleeping patients, even though they all seemed to have slept through the event(s).<br /><br />I'm free. Free at last.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-5212682126676712072009-07-21T11:23:00.000-07:002009-07-21T11:45:33.707-07:00I Might Have To Do What ?Ok - I've settled down a bit....<br /><br />My doctor called me and we talked about why I required my catheter to be put back in. Turns out I have <span style="font-style:italic;">hyper-continence</span>* ! This should not alter the positive outcome of my bladder control that we were all so happy about last Friday. He said that they used to leave catheters in a bit longer, and that I probably just wasn't healed up enough for its removal. He didn't mention why they now like to get them out sooner, but I will just assume it has something to do with the general state of affairs with our current health care system: "Get 'em in, get 'em out. You are healed!"<br /><br />I am scheduled to get this one out on Thursday, but he told me that I will be trained on self-catheterization if this problem happens again! WTF!<br /><br />Whatever. My ever shrinking little buddy has taken a lot of abuse as of late, so I'm not too worried about screwing this up if I do need to do it myself. I will assume I should do this sober.<br /><br />* Stacey swears that at this point, my doctor is just making this stuff up to help settle me down!Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-12861754870357139482009-07-19T14:23:00.000-07:002009-07-19T15:45:43.713-07:00Break TimeI feel the need to step away from all of this for a while. <br /><br />But I am going to finish this story in it's natural progression because I need to and want to. The response I've gotten from this blog has moved me very much and I want others to discover what it can be like in going through something like this, but for the moment it is consuming me, and frankly, I have had a series of setbacks that have been disheartening and are starting to wear me down. <br /><br />I'm still pretty damn sure I'm going to have a positive outcome, but I think it's important that you see another side of me - one that just can't find a witty way in describing what's it's like to have to go to the emergency room (as I had to yesterday) to have my catheter put back in. <br /><br />It seems that I am now ending up on the wrong side of the numbers that my doctors have telling me to expect. Before the surgery, my biopsy gave me a Gleason Grade of 3 + 3 = 6, which translated to an 84% chance that the cancer was contained in my prostate. The pathology report <span style="font-style:italic;">after</span> the surgery upgraded those numbers to 3 + 4 = 7 which means that the cancer was <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> contained and cancer cells were discovered in my bladder and seminal vesicles. And while these are still the slow growing cancer cells, I will need to have some radiation treatment once my bladder and continence issues have healed and been sorted out. There was some good news though - the lymph nodes were all clean.<br /><br />We had an idea that something like this was going on right after the surgery when the surgeon told us that there was a soft spot on one side of the prostate and that he could not spare all of the nerves that are responsible for erections. Again, my numbers before the surgery were that I had a 60% chance of erections, now that number is 20%. I am aware that I made a big deal that this would not be a big deal, but the cumulative effect was not a good feeling.<br /><br />I also had to stay in the hospital for an extra day because I could not expel the gases in my abdomen that had been pumped into me for the procedure. While not uncommon, it is not the norm and required me to basically walk in a loop around the recovery ward for 24 hours directly following the surgery. That is not an easy thing to do.<br /><br />On Friday, I was delighted when the doctor removed my catheter and discovered that my continence was intact. Phone calls were made, modest celebrations occurred, but by the next day, the pain in voiding my bladder was so intense, the whole thing shut down and I couldn't void at all. To the emergency room we went.<br /><br />I feel my dignity has been stripped away - I'm fucking sick of dealing with bowels, stool softeners and tubes up my penis and everybody and their mother (including my wife) either looking at my naked body in this condition or dealing with tubes and bags hanging off of me.<br /><br />I plan on not referring to any of this on facebook anymore. I'm shutting that hospital ward down. If anyone wants to follow me through this, I welcome them here at Po'buckra (damned appropriate name, by the way), and while the positive and wonderful thoughts that came my way there are greatly appreciated and helpful, I want to use that site for things other than a <span style="font-style:italic;">Gil has cancer </span> site. I hope you all understand.<br /><br />I will get through this. Stacey will get through this. We will all get through this. I love each and everyone of you, but I need some down time.<br /><br />Love,<br />GilGilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-78456308998374620532009-07-15T15:41:00.000-07:002009-07-15T19:59:14.961-07:00Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0BvfP41YkWZ6a2ZIAMstyA2WEv1u4abLmB8qJLjh5ex_K_qS_kLjgpgu-CEfK6TRCzpduhTXz25wUGMCw7d96_ZMWndvBWqhJEPOek3rWF3EtGqi_20yz2dkvQIL_yrq2icCsyHtxWTNj/s1600-h/000797_si_patient_cart_arms_together_1000x1134.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 353px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0BvfP41YkWZ6a2ZIAMstyA2WEv1u4abLmB8qJLjh5ex_K_qS_kLjgpgu-CEfK6TRCzpduhTXz25wUGMCw7d96_ZMWndvBWqhJEPOek3rWF3EtGqi_20yz2dkvQIL_yrq2icCsyHtxWTNj/s400/000797_si_patient_cart_arms_together_1000x1134.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358873090580094706" /></a><br />When the alarm clock went off at 3:45am on the morning of my surgery, it didn't feel anything like Christmas morning!<br /> <br />Here it was: The Big Day. A surgeon, a team of anesthesiologists and a robot were going to try to heal me, and I woke up with a splitting headache. A very bad one, too. Great.<br /><br />With my head pounding, I went into the bathroom and did the enema thing. I'll spare you too much detail in the visuals, but I will say that it did not help my head much (though my butt took it like a champ...). I then had to shower using antibacterial soap. We don't normally keep that stuff around, but we found some stinky hand soap in a pump bottle that would have to do.<br /><br />The headache was buggin' the crap out of me. At this point I could not take anything for it, including water. I was getting pretty agitated. This is not starting off so well.<br /><br />We piled into Stacey's car and headed out to Walnut Creek, which is about 25 minutes away in normal traffic. At 4:45 we were surprised that there was as much traffic as there was, but it was not a problem. We found the hospital, parked, and went to the surgery department. We found it strange that no one seemed to be anywhere at the hospital, but found where we needed to be, signed in and sat in the waiting room as Stacey rubbed my neck and shoulders.<br /><br />Slowly, the hospital started to show signs of life. A person came to us and took us into a large room to prepare for the surgery. I took off all of my clothes, put on the hospital gown and laid down on a bed. A nurse approached and after confirming my name and what was being done to me, put barcoded wristbands on me. She then commenced to shaving my lower abdomen. I was wondering what and how much they were going to shave down there (mostly from the bellybutton down to the top of the pubes - I'm not a very hairy guy). I was a bit surprised she used an electric shaver, and I was <span style="font-style:italic;">very surprised</span> that it tickled me to the point of laughing! Even through my awful headache!<br /><br />After all of that, I became ground zero for anyone with a needle to stick into my arms. First, a male nurse came to draw blood. I've had a lot of blood drawn through all of this, and his hurt the worst. The dude just sort of slammed the needle into me and started draining my much in demand blood. Next, a very down-to-business nurse came to insert the IV. I've had plenty of those before, but this one really hurt. Stacey said the needle was shockingly large. That poor little port into my life systems was going to get a workout in the next couple of days.<br /><br />From here on, my memories of what went down may be a little vague. I can't believe it was over a week ago!<br /><br />The surgeon stopped by and was concerned about my headache. Maybe he thought I was stroking out or something, but no - I was just being me... I'm sure the combination of stress, fasting and dehydration were the evil bastards hurting my head so much. It was at this point Stacey confirmed what I had been saying ever since meeting the surgeon: <span style="font-style:italic;">He looks, speaks and has some of the same body movements as my ex-Game Theory bassist/madman - <span style="font-weight:bold;">Gui</span> !</span><br /><br />I'm like, totally...doomed.<br /><br />I was rolled into a hallway outside of the operating room. I believe it was here that I parted with Stacey (I don't remember if Jennifer was there). This was the moment I had been dreading and I was unsure as to how I would deal with it. I mean, it was possible that <span style="font-style:italic;">I would never see her again</span>. I bucked up, shed some tears, kissed her, squeezed her hand and off I went.<br /><br />I now realized my damned headache may have been a blessing in disguise. It was really hurting, but it also must have distracted me from the reality that I was now about to be put to sleep, and a surgeon and a robot were going to invade my insides and hopefully cure me of cancer without compromising my bladder control, ability to have boners, and perhaps most importantly of all - not giving me Accidental Clown Leg. <br /><br />As I was rolled into the operating room, I requested to see the Da Vinci. I had seen pictures on the internet (there are also actual YouTube vids up of the machine in action, but I avoided those like the plague), but they really don't do it justice. It's larger than I thought and very sci-fi with spider-like movable arms. Good Lord! I also realized that the surgeon will be nowhere near me during the fancy part of the procedure. Once he pokes enough holes into me to get the instruments in me laproscopically, he will then return to the Da Vinci station and it is from there that he will hopefully use great skill and precision to chop this diseased crap out of me.<br /> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkBmTvwZKX6XzEuOZ370Pz2k_uHDBTSrfMzQuWddyDc_KoH-gq15aijYKQ1AfpskQzZMexSOZSqWZIsY5cxfEVXiMCm_UotpgDgq4SYsWzH-Z4vQZV-fPM5Shyphenhyphenel4sFOJCq3E_YGApFHID/s1600-h/ISI_OR-da_Vinci.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 305px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkBmTvwZKX6XzEuOZ370Pz2k_uHDBTSrfMzQuWddyDc_KoH-gq15aijYKQ1AfpskQzZMexSOZSqWZIsY5cxfEVXiMCm_UotpgDgq4SYsWzH-Z4vQZV-fPM5Shyphenhyphenel4sFOJCq3E_YGApFHID/s400/ISI_OR-da_Vinci.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358873261189558322" /></a><br /><br />Before anything got underway, the surgeon stopped all of the action and talking and sharply announced: "Time out". This was another confirmation that the right guy was getting the right operation by the right people. We all confirmed, I was put to sleep, and the last thing I remember was an oxygen mask being put before my face.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-32683879562295225842009-07-12T15:45:00.000-07:002009-07-13T10:37:05.457-07:00Prep SchooledOk, I think I'm ready to keep going on this sucker. There are plenty of thrills, chills and excitement up ahead!<br /><br />Prepping for the surgery was sort of a 2 part process. Neither very pleasant to deal with, but deal with you must.<br /><br />The first part of the prep was pretty creepy and a big fat reality check. I'm going to be <span style="font-style:italic;">different</span> after the surgery. Some of the changes could possibly be permanent, but the odds are that these changes will just be temporary, but they will be there, waiting for me once this stuff has been done to me.<br /><br />I'm grateful they gave me instructions on all of this. There are a lot of angles to consider. For instance: 10 days after the surgery, I will have my catheter removed. Even though I have been ferociously doing my Kegel exercises (3 sets of 30, holding each one for 3 seconds, per day), I will probably have very little or no bladder control.....<span style="font-style:italic;">yet</span>. <br /><br />What that means is that last Sunday, Stacey and I had to go shopping, and while drug stores are generally not a very fun place to shop at to begin with, it sucks extra hard when you're buying adult diapers and pads. But there they were! And there we were, rummaging through the different choices and figuring out the correct sizes etc...Good Lord! <br /><br />I just had to keep taking deep breaths and quietly (at times not so quietly) repeat our "safeword" curse/mantra. We figured it all out, and now we were ready to move on to part 2 of the prep stage: Buying very cruel liquids and enemas that will blow out my bowels til they're clean as a whistle, Homer! This is actually a very important step - if the rectal wall accidently got punctured during the surgery, a cleaned out system could help prevent some very serious damage control. <br /><br />Ok, off to the stomach aids aisle we went, merrily skipping along and humming sweet tunes. First off - Fleet Enema. No problem, been there, done that. Most men my age have probably dealt with these before if they've dutifully gone in for the sigmoidoscopy that all men should have at 50.<br /><br />Next is what I affectionately call ass blowout juice. Excuse the graphic and juvenile choice of words, but that's what it does. It's called magnesium citrate and comes in 2 delicious flavors; lemon citrus and a fruity berry flavor. Lemon citrus it was, and if you ever hate someone enough to do this to, it really would make a good mixer for gin.<br /><br />Shopping complete, we head on home and were delighted to find out that our friend Jennifer will indeed be able to accompany Stacey for the surgery! I eat my last solid foods for quite a while, have a couple of beers, take a valium and go to sleep.<br /><br />At 10:00 AM the next morning, I drink the bottle of ass-blow. From here on I can have no more solid foods before the surgery. (I'm glad I went over the instructions because I had it in my mind that I was to do this at 10:00pm, which could have been disastrous!) I thought the effect woulda kicked in a bit sooner, but it really ran it's course over several hours. It certainly blows you out, but there's no real uncomfortable cramping. It just....blows it out your ass!<br /><br />I drank lots of water, had some approved clear jello (why anyone considers this food in any form is beyond me), and some broth. It's strange not to eat for a day. I didn't like it.<br /><br />The surgery was scheduled for Tuesday morning at 8:00 am, which meant that Stacey, Jennifer and I had to leave Albany around 4:45am so we could be admitted to the hospital at the required time of 5:20am! <br /><br />Off to sleep we went, excited as little children on Xmas Eve!<br /><br />Not.Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-90267628848028922702009-07-06T14:06:00.000-07:002009-07-06T15:18:38.058-07:00I'm Off To See The Wizard!Holy cow...tomorrow's the big day! Excuse the haste in this post, but I want to get caught up with all of this.<br /><br /><strong>The Test</strong><br />I cannot believe that I left out the punch-line in my last post, regarding the psychological test my doctor gave me! Once the 9 question test was completed, he hit a few buttons, and the computer came up with my results:<br /><br />"Moderately Depressed"<br /><br />Boy, was I ever disappointed!<br /><br />But I don't want get too harsh with this doctor, he was just doing his job the way he is supposed to do. I have learned a long time ago that psychological treatment is best handled by psychologists and psychiatrists.<br /><br /><strong>The Surgeon </strong>- Stacey and I met the surgeon a couple of weeks ago and had a pretty intense hour-long meeting with him. He explained everything, and as I have quickly found out, doctors and surgeons like spending a lot of time explaining what can go wrong. I suppose they have to, and that's fine, but he was also very optimistic about my outcome due to these 3 things:<br />1. I'm healthy (except for the cancer, of course..).<br />2. I'm relatively young.<br />3. I'm "skinny" (which should come in handy for my bladder control getting back to normal - less weight pushing down on my newly remodeled bladder sphincter).<br /><br />I made it clear that my priorities are this:<br />1. To live.<br />2. Bladder control.<br />3. The erection thing.<br /><br />The nerves that control erections are on both sides of the prostate gland. If the gland is smooth and clean, his chances are much better to be able to spare those nerves. If there are cancer cells outside and on the gland, the nerves could be "stuck" to the gland making the job much more difficult. Another factor is this thing called margins. I think that means if the cancer cells are very close to the wall of the gland, there could be problems sparing those nerves.<br /><br />He spent a lot of time on this, and I tried to tell him that the erection thing really isn't a huge priority with me, but he insisted, telling me that he's actually seen marriages end and men becoming very depressed if there's no more boners.<br /><br />If those nerves go bye-bye, there are many options that can help get those erections back. The most unsettling one has got to be <em>self injections directly into the penis!</em> "It really doesn't hurt".<br /><br />Stacey and were both impressed with this guy, and I feel like I'm in good hands. He knows his way around the Da Vinci, and he's younger than I am, which my brother says is a good thing - probably has more experience than someone my age with video games!<br /><br /><strong>The Love</strong><br />I have been overwhelmed with good wishes ever since I went public with this. Family, friends, musicians, acquaintances, not so friendly friends, people I haven't spoken to in 35 years, and complete strangers have taken the time and effort to wish me well. I cannot believe how fortunate I am to be loved by so many. I thank you all - it is really helping me get through something that I was programmed most of my life to believe would be the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.<br /><br />Boy, was I wrong.<br /><br />I love you all.<br /><br />GilGilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-682109789218884274.post-85064570814928605692009-07-04T12:09:00.000-07:002009-07-04T14:38:49.913-07:00Sister Iodine and the Nine Step PlanThe next test was the pelvic scan. At times I kinda glaze-over when the doctors are telling me about all this stuff, but I <em>think</em> this was to look for trouble in lymph node land. Whatever, they said I needed it so I went.<br /><br />This time I was not in a very entertaining mood. The stress was really taking hold in my fragile little nervous system. Much of it had to do with work. I'm going to be out of commission for 6 weeks! Panic had set in with the powers that be, and I had to quickly write lots of procedures and train a bunch of people that really don't need the extra work load, on how to do my job (which I've done for 26 years!). <br /><br />Anyway, this particular set of radiologists were all business. I was in no mood to joke around, and I could tell they weren't either. So lets just get it done.<br /><br />"Mr. Ray - have you ever had an iodine injection?"<br /><em>No</em><br /><br />"Well, we need for you to sign this consent form".<br /><em>Why?</em><br /><br />"Because some people have a bad reaction to it, and it may make your heart stop - but don't worry...we will closely monitor you, and if there is a problem we can roll you right on up to the emergency room."<br /><br /><em>blink.</em> <br /><em>Where do I sign?</em><br /><br />She told me that I would experience 2 things - first, I would feel a very warm sensation spread throughout my body (...ok), and then I would get a rather strong metallic taste in my mouth, but that would quickly dissipate. (...not so ok).<br /><br />I laid down on the table and they inserted an IV into my arm (at this point my poor little arms were beginning to look like a junkie's arm) and they took a few scans of my pelvic region without the iodine. Then the tech released the iodine.<br /><br />I've never injected recreational drugs into anywhere on my body, but I thought that this <em>must</em> be what it feels like. Immediately, a very pleasant warm rush spread throughout my entire body. It was very strange feeling. Seconds later, the metallic taste came into my mouth and all pleasant sensations were now quite gone. It was terrible - sorta like chewing on aluminum foil, but not quite. I have never had this sensation before. Fortunately, it disappeared after about 30 seconds.<br /><br />They then scanned the region again. The purpose was to get a contrast of what they scanned before. It was over in about 5 minutes. I sat up. Took a deep breath, and went back to work. No drama this time, and no extra pictures were required.<br /><br />The next day at work it all started to come down on me. I was a wreck. I could barely move a muscle. My body ached and my brain was feeling pretty fried. I just couldn't do much of anything. While I know I do not handle stress well, I wasn't sure if this was just another example of my body dealing with all of this, or if I was getting sick (lots of swine flu warnings at the hospital), or if I was having a bad reaction to the iodine.<br /><br />I left work, went home and slept. I felt a little better that night, so I went to work the next day. Same thing happened. Something wasn't right.<br /><br />I called radiology and asked if this was a normal reaction to having iodine injected into one's body and was told that is wasn't, most of it flushes out of the body pretty quickly (instructions were to drink tons of water afterwards - which I did) and if I felt like I was getting sick, I should call my primary care physician.<br /><br />So I did, and was told I could come in later that afternoon. (I've mentioned this before, but with the economy and unemployment being what it is, I've discovered that fewer people seem to be going to doctors, so appointments are amazingly swift!).<br /><br />A nurse came in to take my vitals and asked why I was there. I told her my symptoms and that I needed to find out if this was a real physical illness or if I was just having a meltdown. She told me that she was a cancer survivor, and informed me a little bit about her situation. She then said that it's a very normal emotional reaction to have breakdowns dealing with this stuff. Right at that moment I was overwhelmed with her insight and care, and started crying.<br /><br />She knew. Now, I knew. This is going to be a <em>really</em> tough thing to go through.<br /><br />I thanked her and she left. At that point I felt there was no longer a need for me to see the doctor, but I stayed. (Why not? I have <em>way</em> surpassed my insurance deductible - it's all free from here, baby!) <br /><br />The doctor entered and I told him that I thought the nurse and I had figured out what was happening to me, but to please go ahead and check me out. I find it very disturbing that most doctor visits (esp. with primary care doctors) seem to mainly consist of the doctor typing and staring into a computer screen. Uh, hello? Could you please take your eyes off the computer and look my way and maybe even touch, tap, or feel <em>something</em> on my body? <br /><br />I think I now understand my cat a whole lot better.<br /><br />He does listen to my heart, taps a few things, but by now he is also getting the picture that my problem is more emotional than physical. I've been there and done that, but here was a new doctor. Glad to meet ya!<br /><br />He really doesn't know much about my...colorful past with doctors and emotional problems - I was officially diagnosed with "agitated depression" nearly 15 years ago, so I couldn't get too mad at him when he decided to pull up on his computer a 9 question psychological test to give me.<br /><br />I really thought I had been kidnapped by aliens at this point, but I remained calm and answered the questions as truthfully and as patiently as I could. <br /><br />The questions were pretty standard ones:<br /><em>In the last 2 weeks, have you had trouble concentrating at work-<br />a) not at all<br />b) some of the time<br />c) frequently<br />d) all of the time</em><br /><br />It mostly went like like, pretty basic and obvious stuff, but the final question got me. <em>Do you feel you've let your family and loved ones down?</em><br /><br />That one hurt. I fell apart.<br /><br />He handed me some tissues and informed me that he thought it might be a good idea to change up my anti-depressant meds to something with more anxiety reducing effects. I gently, but firmly told him that I trust my psychiatrist (who is outside of this health care organization), and that I thought messing with these drugs - this close to my surgery - may not be a good thing, but I would call her and ask.<br /><br />The next day he e-mailed me and told me that I was right, we shouldn't change anything right now and to take Valium as needed. Good. And I do!Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03157301426776518899noreply@blogger.com1